American Vandal: The Jason Babin and Jason Kelce Story
In a recent article, Lane Johnson shared a story with Bo Wulf and Zach Berman from The Athletic about Kelce trying to fight everyone in the Eagles organization after someone spray painted a dick on his car.
Jason Kelce ‘leads the orchestra’: 12 years of stories on the Eagles’ offensive line
Andrew Gardner: The dude did have a switch that would flip sometimes, just all the way redline. And I saw that happen in games, and he’d have to pull it back. Because you can’t be all the way redline and then make all the calls, right? But I mean, hey, football is a great place to be when you’re feeling that way. It’s the perfect outlet for all that anger.
Lane Johnson: I think before I was here, Jason Babin and them spray-painted, I think, dicks on his car or something. And then he went to every room and, “Who the fuck did this?” And went into every room and was just threatening to fight everybody.
Evan Mathis: Kelce saw it and came flying in the building at Lehigh where there was a special teams meeting going on. He was absolutely livid at the thought of the disrespect and about blew down the closed door where a special teams meeting was happening. He scared everyone in the room and some hid under tables thinking his elbow hitting the door was a gunshot. The reason the story is so memorable is that everyone in the know about the prank was scared to come forward.
Okay well this is awesome and terrifying at the same time. We have Jason Kelce running through doors trying to find out who vandalized his car by spray painting dicks on it, slamming his elbows down on tables that were apparently so loud that they were mistaken for gunshots, and players literally hiding under tables.
That’s the type of energy and aggression I expect from the Eagles future hall of fame center every week during the NFL season. Maybe flipping that switch with a few spray painted dicks on Sunday mornings is something we can take advantage of moving forward?
The story itself seems pretty crazy. Even with NFL players making a boatload of cash, straight up ruining someones car with spray painted dicks seems to cross the line. Well, it looks like Babin replied to Crossing Broad’s Instagram story saying that the entire article was “disinformation”. Babin claims that Kelce told on him to “daddy” (Andy Reid) and that the paint was washable.
Yikes. Kelce doesn’t really seem like the guy to go run to the head coach and complain about anything and that’s definitely not the vibe we need from our veteran leader at center. Let’s hope that part is completely false and honestly, just erase it from your memory.
Plus, it’s pretty hard to take someone like Jason Babin seriously with those horrible tribal tattoos and when there are pictures like this floating around the internet.
Shoutout my guy Kyle Pagan from Crossing Broad for the picture
At the end of the day, it sounds like we have a good old fashioned prank going on here. The only concern would be Kelce running to Andy Reid but again, we’re just going to ignore that part completely.
The Eagles should consider making a Netflix parody series about the entire incident that would play perfectly next to the first season of American Vandal.