We’re now two months removed from the Eagles loss in Super Bowl 57 and I gotta say, I’ve pretty much completely gotten over it. I’ve gone through the stages of grief, I’m good. On to next season.

Somewhat unsurprisingly, a Kansas City-based milk company – Shatto Milk Company – is still reveling in the Eagles defeat at the hands of the Chiefs. So much so that the local company released a new brand of their cow juice titled “Eagles Tears.” Shatto Milk packaged a whopping 11,000 bottles of this shit to send out to their loyal customers.

Eagles Tears – in milk form

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On the side of the bottle where the ingredients would typically reside, it reads, “Have you ever tasted eagle tears before? Neither had we. But we gotta say, we weren’t expecting their flavor profile to so closely resemble cheesecake. Cheesesteak, maybe. But not cheesecake. Bottling them was no easy feat. We had to conquer the West, defend our home turf (twice!) and travel all the way to the desert and back. Make no mistake, Kansas City. The contents of this bottle are very precious cargo. Savor it.”

Honestly, it’s a pretty solid campaign strategy. The new bottles are making the rounds on social media and everyone not from Philadelphia seems to love it. I’m sure they’ll make a good chunk of change selling these things.

I don’t know if Eagles fans will even get butt hurt about this. I know I won’t. If the Eagles beat the Chiefs in the Super Bowl, I’d still be talking shit too. Hell, I’d probably still be drunk. So if the good folks down in KC want to keep talking, who cares.

I just hope they give me a warm welcome when I show up to Arrowhead for the Eagles-Chiefs game next year and start screaming obscenities at everyone wearing red.

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