I don’t hate Jake Arrieta. I just strongly dislike him to a point of potential hatred. It was also just brought to my attention that the correct way to spell Arietta is actually “Arrieta”. Am I going to go back and edit my other blog post? Maybe if I actually liked the guy – but that’s not the case with Jake.

He’s always so quick to blame everyone but himself for a bad outing. Mad at Bryce Harper for getting ejected, mad at Scott Kingery at shortstop, mad at everyone in the bullpen beside him, you just never know with Jake.

As predicted, Jake’s spring training is off to a roaring start – letting up a 3 run HR in the 1st inning. But who’s to blame Jake?

The New Look Phillie Phanatic:

Can you believe the audacity of the Phillie Phanatic to change his look for no apparent reason to completely throw off Arrieta’s game this early in spring training? If only there was a reason for the Phanatics change. C’mon Jake don’t let that get to you. Take some responsibility!

Old Retired People In Clearwater, Florida

Florida is a retirement state which doesn’t sit too well with Jake. He’s really trying to be the hip, cool young guy in the clubhouse. Old people make Jake feel old which definitely affects him throwing good pitches.

Bryce Harpers Hair

Jake is bald and old. Not having hair and being around the best flow in the game has to be tough on him. With Bryce Harper also making his spring debut today, Jake has to be shaking in his boots on the mound after catching a glimpse of Bryce shining better than the Florida sun in the dugout.

In the end, stop blaming everyone else for your shitty pitching, Jake. Maybe you’re just not good. We are paying you a shit ton of money and you have done nothing positive for the Phillies since you got here. We need you to pitch well this year. Take accountability and have some pride in your game.