Philly Sports Fans New Year’s Resolutions
2021 is finally over and people all over the world will be dedicating themselves to self improvement with the start of a new year. Philly Sports fans shouldn’t be any different.
Let’s look inward and commit to change for the better by setting these New Year’s Resolutions:
Stop obsessing over Ben Simmons. Block him on instagram. Don’t jump at every Woj bomb or Shams tweet. It does nobody any good and is bad for your health.
There’s going to be a trade. Worrying over when it’s going to happen is just going to drive you crazy. Maybe it’ll be the trade deadline. Maybe it won’t happen until next year’s draft. Maybe this stretches on until we all turn to dust and the Sun goes supernova, swallowing the earth.
Why are you staring at him on Instagram anyway? Are you going to feel better knowing that a guy that hates it here so much he’s willing to pretend to be crazy is collecting cars that cost more than your house? Probably not!
Quit overreacting to everything that happens in the regular season. I’m guilty like the rest of you on this one. It’s gonna be hard to shake. I think I declared last season over about fifteen times between the trade deadline and when they were finally eliminated. I even started a petition to bring back the A’s at one point.
Obviously the season might not even happen for us to overreact to it. Thanks to the MLB lockout ruining the integrity of the sport and turning fans against baseball.
Stop obsessing over Carson Wentz. It’s one thing to check his stat line and shrug. In general though, you should probably just forget Carson Wentz exists. What good is sitting up at night fantasizing about the Ginger King doing for you?
We got the pick. Now forget about him. This goes for making fun of him too, by the way. There’s only so many jokes we can make about him being injury prone before we seem like sadists. I know we are sadists, but we don’t have to advertise it.
Unite as one and force the team to change the goal song. There’s been a lot that has gone wrong for the Flyers lately, but probably the worst thing was the decision to pick “This Girl” as their goal song. It got the season off to a terrible start.
It literally sounds like music from a car commercial. We can only assume the reason the Flyers had so much trouble scoring at home early in the season was because they desperately wanted to avoid hearing it.
We all saw what this fanbase can do when it devotes itself to putting bags on their twitter avis. Let’s harness that energy and enact some real change.
Finally just a general resolution for all Philly Sports Fans:
Respect the Union. They’re probably the best team in the city.
You could always just take this approach:
Happy New Year! Cheers to 2022!
mandatory credit: G. Widman via Visit Philadelphia