Passy Pete, the lobster that crawls out of the bay in Belfast, Maine to predict the weather in September is a total fraud and I want to eat him
Over the weekend, a lobster by the name of Passy Pete declared that winter is on its way.
In what has become an annual tradition in Belfast Maine, Passy Pete predicts if summer will last for six more weeks. The lobster is retrieved from the bay by the Belfast barons, which are a group of residents that watch over and help Passy.
The result? Passy Pete believes that winter is coming, because he selected a certain scroll that indicated we won’t have summer for six more weeks.
Okay that’s great, Passy Pete. Few things about your little ritual up in Maine.
A Message for Passy Pete, The Lobster
- You’re a total fraud.
- I want to eat you.
Not only that, but predicting “winter is on its way” has to be the worst prediction ever made on September 5th. No shit winter is on the way. It’s one of the four seasons and happens every single year, Passy. If you think summer is going to last until mid-October then you’re a total fraud and honestly, a complete idiot.
Maybe Passy Pete should stop living under water and he’d be able to figure that out for himself?
Oh, what’s wrong Passy Pete? Can’t live on dry land? No problem. We’ll just boil and butter you up and eat you then. That’s just the food chain baby, we humans walk on land and run planet Earth. The last thing we need is some lobster that spends his time in Baron Bay, in Maine of all places coming out and ringing the “winter is coming soon” bells on September 5th.
Give me a break.
Passy Pete is a total fraud and direct rip off of the one and only Punxsutawney Phil.
Also worth noting, look how these dorks in Maine are dressed above compared to what happens when Phil rightfully makes his prediction every year in Punxsutawney.
Have some fucking class, Maine. Your t-shirt tuxedos are embarrassing the rest of us.
The big difference is that Phil doesn’t come out of the water on September 5th and make a prediction that literally anyone could make. He’s out there in the ice cold days of winter on February 2nd letting the great people of Pennsylvania know if we are getting six more weeks of winter or an early Spring.
That’s how you do it.
Not only that but Phil is a pro and has been doing this since the 1800s. Check out this chart.
The Inner Circle, in keeping with the suspension of disbelief, claims a 100% accuracy rate, and an approximately 80% accuracy rate in recorded predictions (claiming in turn that whenever the prediction is wrong, the person in charge of translating the message must have made a mistake in their interpretation). Impartial estimates place the groundhog’s accuracy between 35% and 41%
Side Note: I love how The Inner Circle claims that Phil is always right and 100% accurate. That’s amazing. Rule number one: Never acknowledge a loss. There literally are ZERO losses on the schedule.
Still, a 35%-41% accuracy rate, if true, is nothing to be ashamed of. That’s still better than Passy Pete looking all tasty and delicious coming out of a bay in Maine in September to let everyone know winter is coming soon.