RECAP: Bolts Show Flyers How Much They Suck With 4-1 Smacking
I have to level with you all. It is really hard to recap every game as if the Flyers are a competitive team where each game is another block in the grand narrative of the unfolding season. It just isn’t true.
The Flyers are complete garbage, and I can’t suspend my own disbelief to act like each game is unique.
The Flyers just lost 4-1 to a vastly superior Lightning team. That is what happened tonight. And guess what? That is what happens nearly every night.
That just happened ten nights in a row. They got one win against a mediocre team reliant on sublime goalie play, and now… it’s happening again.
I wish I could go through the story of the game. But it isn’t even worth it. There hardly was a story to the game. You know what the story was?
The Lightning played vastly superior hockey from the opening minute to the last, and despite a game that was mostly brilliant from Carter Hart, the Flyers lost. And it wasn’t close.
Because the Flyers are built to lose.
And they’re not the only team built to lose. They’re not the only team struggling. But nobody–no organization–has made losing as boring and as nauseatingly self-righteous as this Flyers team.
The Ducks may lose at incomprehensible rates, but they’re fun. Tune into a Ducks game, and you see Trevor Zegras flying around the ice making plays that most people can’t dream of making. You see Troy Terry doing the same thing.
Are the Ducks a complete hockey team? Oh, God no. They have so many holes to fill. They lose, as they are built to. But they don’t play like humiliation porn on ice.
The Blackhawks may be as embarrassing to watch as the Flyers are. They’re certainly close, but at least the Blackhawks are honest.
You don’t hear the Blackhawks talking about grinding out gritty wins on the back of brilliant goaltending. You don’t hear the Blackhawks’ front office telling the fans, the day before an embarrassing blowout, that they have ambitions on being competitive.
No. The Flyers aren’t just bad. They might be forgiven for that. But they’re boring as hell, and self-righteous too.
After each new hilarious loss, there’s a new ridiculous explanation for why they got whooped on that particular occasion. Just check this whooper out from John Tortorella.
Oh yeah, the game really shifted when the Flyers got hemmed in for 4 minutes. After that, they just weren’t the same. Uh-huh, yeah, quick question: Why did they get hemmed in for 4 minutes?
Because they’re bad. Stop over-analyzing.
We talk so much about honesty, and then we finish up each new loss with some new convoluted reason for why they did what they always do… and lose.
One more thing!
Stop changing the lines after every time you’re losing, it’s becoming so hilariously futile.
No, they don’t “just need a jolt of energy”
They just suck. One step closer to Bedard.
For Those Of You Who REALLY Want to Know What Happened in the Game:
Nick Paul scored 2 goals. The Lightning Power-Play went off, because of course it did.
Steven Stamkos recorded his 1,000th point–congratulations to the future Hockey Hall of Famer.
Carter Hart let in a really weird, fluky goal to Ian Cole but otherwise stood on his head to no avail.
And Travis Konecny scored a goal in his first game back. He’s really had a hell of a season, especially considering this dumpster fire of a team.
Enjoy the TK goal.
And enjoy two of the league’s most talented goalies showing off their skills.
Mandatory Credit: Johnny Ulecka