Art in the Schuylkill River is probably a horrible idea unless you’re throwing the Rocky Statue to the bottom of it

Woke up this morning on my 35th birthday and saw Crossing Broad’s one-man content machine Kevin Kinkead quote tweeted someone suggesting that we put art in the middle of the Schuylkill River so I figured I’d write something up.
Art in the Schuylkill River…?
Yeah, sorry Mr. Conrad Bender, this is the dumbest piece of art I have ever seen in my life.
Why in the world would anyone want to have a floating ball that looks like Earth in the middle of the Schuylkill River?
I don’t mean to pile on Conrad here, but if he has ideas and thinks that is an “awesome work of art” I doubt anyone will be calling him asking for ideas. Honestly, the Schuylkill River is pretty gross looking already and I don’t think any tacky art that resembles blow up Christmas decorations is going to change that.
Here’s a better idea…
Let’s take the Rocky Statue and throw it into the Schuylkill. No one can see the bottom of the river and now when everyone is trapped in bumper to bumper traffic, you can look over at the river and tell whoever is in the car with you that “some blogger suggested throwing the Rocky Statue into the river and they actually did it. It’s now down there somewhere.”
From there, they can make one of those old school Philadelphia Signs acknowledging the day Rocky sunk to the bottom of the river.
Now that my friends, is art.