
America is BACK: Team USA Basketball announces a stacked roster for the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris
Team USA Basketball is officially BACK. Yesterday, Team USA Basketball officially dropped the 11-man roster for the 2024 Olympics and America is looking STRONG heading into the Paris Games.
Before we dive-in, we should be VERY clear about the FIBA World Cup last Summer.
For whatever reason, the rest of the world thinks they are “catching up” to America in basketball because of what happened in 2023, where Team USA sent the B-Squad to compete and couldn’t even beat Canada in the Third Place Game, while Germany somehow walked away with a Gold Medal.
The rest of the world, as usual, is completely wrong.
Team USA will look to take their rightful throne atop the basketball world with the following roster for the 2024 Paris Olympic Games.
2024 Paris Olympic Games: Team USA Basketball Roster
- Stephen Curry
- LeBron James
- Kevin Durant
- Jayson Tatum
- JOEL HANS EMBIID
- Devin Booker
- Tyrese Haliburton
- THE ANT MAN
- Jrue Holiday
- Bam Adebayo
- Anthony Davis
Team USA will be guided by LeChina LeBron James, Kevin Durant along with newcomers Stephen Curry and the best basketball player on planet Earth, JOEL HANDS EMBIID.

Joel Embiid is coming off a season where he averaged 34.7 points, 11.0 rebounds, and 5.6 rebounds per game. The only other player in the history of basketball to average those types of numbers (34/11/5) in a 39 game span is Wilt Chamberlain.
Embiid, who had the option to play for Team France or even join his native country in Cameroon, decided to wave the American flag in his Olympics debut.
Team USA and Philadelphia specifically was an obvious choice. It’s the birthplace of America and a few other things that us Yanks like to call independence, freedom, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s the city that founded this damn country by signing a few pieces of parchment that included the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, while good old Betsy Ross was sewing together our nations flag down in Olde City.
Embiid also chose the United States of America because of his son, Arthur, who was born in this country and his a certified red, white, and blue American boy. Can’t argue with that, right?
Golden State Warriors’ Steve Kerr will take over coaching duties from basketball legend Gregg Popovich as the head coach of Team USA.
Team USA Newcomers: Along with Joel Embiid, Stephen Curry, Tyrese Haliburton, and Anthony Edwards will make their Olympic Games debut.
One Spot Remaining on the Team USA Roster:
| Jarrett Allen | Jimmy Butler | Brandon Ingram |
| Paolo Banchero | Alex Caruso | Kyrie Irving |
| Desmond Bane | De’Aaron Fox | Jaren Jackson Jr. |
| Scottie Barnes | Paul George | Cam Johnson |
| Mikal Bridges | Aaron Gordon | Walker Kessler |
| Jaylen Brown | James Harden (Nope) | Kawhi Leonard |
| Jalen Brunson | Josh Hart | Damian Lillard |
| Tyler Herro | Chet Holmgren | Donovan Mitchell |
| Chris Paul | Bobby Portis | Austin Reaves |
| Duncan Robinson | Derrick White | Trae Young. |
The obvious choice that’s not listed would be TYRESE MAXEY but he’s not in the pool of players listed above so we’ll have to wait until the next Olympics. Personally, I would like to see Jalen Brunson, De’Aaron Fox, Donovan Mitchell or Mikal Bridges make the squad.
Then of course there’s Jimmy Butler…
Jimmy is an absolute psychopath but he’s also a country music-loving American that deserves the spot if he’s willing to take it. Sign me up for an Embiid and Butler reunion. It’s about time these two got back together and won something after Kawhi Leonard traveled to get around Ben Simmons and throw up a prayer in the corner to beat the Sixers in devastating fashion a few years back in Toronto, right?
“The White Factor” should be considered and no, that doesn’t include Tyler Herro. He is an embarrassment to the United States of America. From there, you have Austin Reaves (no), Walker Kessler (maybe), and Chet Holmgren – who I wouldn’t be upset with joining the squad. As for Duncan Robinson, he’s horrible at basketball and shouldn’t be included on this list to begin with so he’s out.
James Harden and Kyrie Irving get an astounding “no” – along with any big man listed given the fact Team USA is already stacked at that position. Chris Paul, who LeBron James will probably campaign for given their history is also a no – I’m fairly certain he hates America?
Kawhi Leonard is the ultimate vibes killer so he’s out. Derrick White is too ugly and Jalen Brown, after the Boston Celtics lose the Philadelphia 76ers in the Eastern Conference Finals this year should be considered out as well.
Anyways, we’ll see who gets the final roster spot. First and foremost, we have the NBA Playoffs and a Philadelphia 76ers matchup against Jimmy Butler and the Miami Heat tomorrow night.
I wanted to close up this post with a speech made by the new Team USA basketball coach, Steve Kerr. Unfortunately, he hasn’t made one yet since the Golden State Warriors are fighting for their relevancy in the No. 10 seed in the Western Conference Play-In Tournament.
Luckily for everyone reading this, I’ll go the non-controversial route as I’m reminded of the remixed Donald Trump speech that Adelphi Lacrosse used in an EDM mashup for their entrance back in 2017.
Everyone cancelled them for doing so but it still one of the best entrances in the history of sports – regardless of your political affiliation so please, save your comments.
Adelphi Lacrosse was ultimately cancelled by a bunch of dorks and the video was basically scrubbed from the internet.
The “Cancel Crew” are also the same people who probably thought the rest of the world was catching up to American basketball after the fraudulent 2023 FIBA World Cup had Germany taking home the gold medal and the United States not even making it to the podium.
USA! USA! USA!




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