Scorigami Screw Up: Bears win 12-0 against the Vikings, reality now in question

Scorigami Screw Up – If you were trying to process the Chicago Bears beating the Minnesota Vikings 12-0, just know that I was right there with you. I had the game on in the background while attempting to ascend to higher realms via a couple of edibles and trying to make sense of the drone swarms terrorizing the East Coast.

So when I first saw 12-0 Scorigami, I genuinely thought I had entered some alternate timeline where nothing makes sense.

Scorigami still has the post up on X. It’s like they don’t realize what they have done?

Score Update:
CHI 12 – 0 MIN
Final

No Scorigami. That score has happened 22 times before, most recently on December 7, 2003.

— Scorigami (@NFL_Scorigami) December 17, 2024

12-0? That’s not a football score. The Bears beating an 11-2 Minnesota Vikings team? Absolutely not. That’s the kind of fever dream you’d expect after falling asleep watching NFL Films reruns after crushing the entire stash of Christmas cookies a week before the big dance.

And yet, here we are.

This should’ve been the perfect story. The Lions and Vikings both losing? That leaves an even smoother, cleaner path for the Philadelphia Eagles to lock up the No. 1 seed in the NFC. Eagles fans should’ve been taking victory laps around the living room. Instead, I was glued to my couch, motionless, questioning whether reality had simply stopped making sense.

When Scorigami Breaks, Trust Breaks

The real problem here? Scorigami.

I know they’re math people, the kind of nerds who probably eat pie on Pi Day and argue about the merits of base-8 numbering systems—but something went horribly wrong. This 12-0 abomination has shaken the foundation of their entire brand.

Can we trust them anymore? How do we know every other Scorigami isn’t a total fraud?

They’ll probably fire off an apology tweet or hide behind a couple of “community notes” explaining their math error, but that’s not enough. Scorigami HQ needs a full audit.

Someone needs to go back and verify every obscure score they’ve posted. Was 73-0 real? What about 11-5? Have they been lying to us this whole time?

The Alternate Universe Theory

Maybe this isn’t just a simple math error. Maybe there’s an alternate, parallel universe where, Jay Cutler and Da Bears blanked Randall Cunningham, Randy Moss, and the Vikings? If that’s the case, then it’s possible that Ben Simmons has already led the Philadelphia 76ers to an NBA Championship and Carson Wentz was parading down Broad Street with a Lombardi Trophy. Does Nolan Patrick have a Stanley Cup?

You know what, nevermind. I’m just trying to write a simple blog post, not ruin the rest of my week (life). To be honest though, I’d prefer to live in that world. I’d take Jay Cutler flicking darts on a cold Chicago day over Bears-Vikings in the year 2024 ending 12-0.

The Big Question

Is anything real anymore? If Scorigami can get this wrong—the one thing they exist to do—then what else are we supposed to trust? The next thing you know, the government will tell us the drones are just weather balloons, and we’ll have to take their word for it. I’m not buying it.

I don’t like math, I don’t like chart boys on social media, and I don’t like being lied to. But somebody from the dork mob with too much free time and a calculator—needs to investigate this. Every tweet, every score, every Scorigami they’ve ever posted. Run the numbers.

For now, I’ll sit here, mildly disappointed but comforted by the fact that the Eagles still control their path to the NFC’s No. 1 seed, I think? Lions and Vikings have to play each other, someone is going to lose that game regardless of what Scorigami tells you, meaning that if the Eagles win out, the road to the Super Bowl goes through Philadelphia.

12-0, though? Scorigami, You’re Drunk. Get outta here.

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