Cooper Flagg to the Sixers? The Basketball Gods have spoken

Everyone’s freaking out because Cooper Flagg injuring his ankle and now it’s “uh-oh, lottery pick might be in jeopardy.” I view it in a completely different light. This just locked Cooper Flagg in as a future member of THE Philadelphia 76ers.

I’m not even joking. This is destiny. Here is Cooper Flagg, the top rookie in his draft class that now has a lower body injury that could cause him to miss time early in his NBA career. At this point, you cannot convince me another team besides the 76ers will win the draft lottery. It’s too perfect.

Cooper Flagg Exits in a Wheelchair…Yikes

Cooper Flagg is in a wheelchair after leaving the game with a left ankle injury.

Prayers up 🙏 pic.twitter.com/4bRldv6RWK

— ClutchPoints (@ClutchPoints) March 13, 2025

The Sixers Rookie Curse Lives On

For years, if you’re a top-5 pick heading to Philly, you’re missing significant time in Year 1. It’s just the way it goes.

• Joel Embiid (No. 3, 2014): Missed first two seasons with foot injuries.
• Ben Simmons (No. 1, 2016): Out for a year before winning ROY.
• Markelle Fultz (No. 1, 2017): Shoulder turned into a mystery novel.
• Zhaire Smith (No. 16, 2018): Almost died from an allergic reaction to peanuts.
• Jaden Springer (No. 28, 2021): Basically redshirted.

Now, the basketball gods are calling in their next sacrifice—and Cooper Flagg has just been served on a silver platter.

Cooper Flagg Injury…

Cooper Flagg was legitimately 5 ft off The ground and rolled his ankle he might be cooked for the rest of the ACC tournament even if Duke wins today pic.twitter.com/73nGxi2MhK

— John (@iam_johnw) March 13, 2025

The Signs Are Already There

Flagg rolled his ankle in Duke’s ACC Tournament game against NC State. He came back to sit on the bench, x-rays were negative, but Jon Scheyer is already shutting him down for the ACC semifinals because “it’s not worth it.”

Oh, buddy… if only you knew.

Jon Scheyer on Cooper Flagg potentially playing in the remainder of the ACC Tournament:

“It’s not worth it.” pic.twitter.com/2hiq8ohCnG

— Travon Miles (@TrayABC11) March 13, 2025

This is how it starts. An ankle sprain turns into a ‘two-week reevaluation.’ Then it spreads to the knee. Then suddenly, it’s a mysterious nerve issue. Before long, a trainer bumps into him in practice, and boom—fractured orbital.

If you don’t believe me, ask Joel Embiid. Or ask Ben Simmons. Or ask Markelle Fultz’s shoulder.

The Sixers Win the Lottery, and the Basketball Gods Will Feast on Cooper Flagg Remains

Fast forward to lottery night in May. The second it happens, Sixers fans will know what’s coming—because they’ve lived it before. Cooper Flagg will officially be on the Sixers, and his ankle sprain will magically start getting worse.

• Sixers rookie seasons don’t start on time.
• Sixers lottery picks don’t recover like normal people.
• Sixers draft picks don’t just have one injury—they collect them like Infinity Stones.

Flagg will be re-evaluated in two weeks for six months before we start hearing “Thoracic Outlet Syndrome.” If he avoids that, it’ll be a face injury out of nowhere. And before you know it, he either forgets how to shoot or refuses to shoot—whichever happens first.

I don’t make the rules. The basketball gods do. And they’re about to take another pound of flesh from the city of Philadelphia.

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