A Rollerblade Robber is loose in Montco and it’s more than fair to question his getaway strategy

Drew Smith
May 30, 2025
Philly
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We’ve officially entered Florida Man territory here in the Philly suburbs. There’s now a Rollerblade Robber wreaking havoc in Montgomery County — and while the crimes are serious, the getaway strategy is absolutely laughable.

Rollerblade Robber is loose in Montco

Rollerblading armed robber in action rolling & out of the Lukoil on Old York Road in Abington Sunday night. Pulls up his shirt to reveal both a gun AND a knife in his waistband, demanding all the cash in register threatening to shoot clerk of all the money wasn’t handed over. pic.twitter.com/tPFxRltIsJ
— Steve Keeley (@KeeleyFox29) May 29, 2025

The latest hit went down Sunday night at a Lukoil on Old York Road in Abington. The footage is incredible. The Rollerblade Robber — clearly not an experienced blader — clumsily click-clacks his way into the gas station, flashes both a gun and a knife tucked into his waistband, and demands cash.

Rollerblading while robbing a gas station (or really any location) seems like an absolutely terrible idea. You’re locked into one mode of movement — what happens if you need to bail off the pavement?

If the Rollerblade Robber had to ditch onto grass or dirt mid-getaway, he’s cooked. Zero chance you’re gliding across a lawn to freedom. I know this firsthand from my old roller hockey days. Anytime the ball would go over the curb and into the grass of someone’s front lawn, the chase to get it against an opposing team turned even the best players into a Special Olympics event.

This Rollerblade Robber’s entire look gave off the most innocent profile you could imagine. Overweight dude in a hoodie and shorts, just casually rollerblading around a gas station parking lot. No one in the world is pegging that guy as a threat. You’d probably think he was out for some exercise or maybe just grabbing a Gatorade.

Welp — not so fast.

Turns out he’s strapped with knives and guns and robbing places blind. Truly a next-level criminal mind. Blend in with the suburban dad crowd on rollerblades, then flip the switch. It’s so dumb that it’s borderline genius.

Now, real talk — if this guy has to make a getaway through anything other than a perfectly paved parking lot, it’s game over. I fully expect this saga to end with this dude caught on Ring cam face-first in someone’s front yard trying to blade away from police. And if I’m Montco PD, I’m checking all recent DUI cases because this screams “I can’t legally drive, so I’m on blades instead.”

In the meantime, if you’re at Wawa or the local Sunoco and you see a chunky guy in rollerblades with a katana tucked into his waistband, maybe keep your distance and call the cops.

Stay safe out there, Montco.