The Sixers fell apart last season while Daryl Morey was writing a fairy tale musical about Tiny Hoopers and “Sex With Giants”
You ever wonder what the hell was going on with the Sixers last season while the team collapsed in slow motion with literally zero accountability from the front office? It’s a question that keeps me up at night and as it turns out, Daryl Morey was busy writing a musical.
According to a news article I stumbled across today, Daryl Morey just finished putting the finishing touches on a theater production called Small Ball, an absurdist theater production about a normal-sized basketball player joining a team of 6-inch tall fairy tale characters.
It’s real. It’s on stage right now at the Philadelphia Theatre Company through June 29. And yes, it includes a musical number titled Sex With Giants.
The Inky called it “Deliciously Weird” and I want to jump off the Ben Franklin Bridge
Well, this explains a lot about Daryl Morey and the Sixers, right?
Daryl Morey was too busy writing show tunes while the rest of the Sixers’ front office was equally as useless. Joshua Harris was whoring himself out to the NFL and the Washington Commanders to give a shit out the Sixers.
As for Elton Brand, I am honestly still trying to figure out what he does. His job title has changed about five times since “stepping down” as GM, and I’m convinced he’s just collecting checks and playing Wordle in the Wells Fargo Center basement.
I know I’m repeating myself but for the life of me, I cannot believe that our President of Basketball Operations, Daryl Morey, was doing this during one of the most embarrassing seasons of Sixers basketball in the history of the storied organization.
Forget about providing any clarity on Joel Embiid or coming to the defense of Nick Nurse and his basketball team when everything went to complete shit, Daryl Morey was too busy writing Act 3 of Small Ball.
The guy was a ghost all year. There wasn’t a single press conference or public statement and now we know that was because he was in the lab cooking up an off-Broadway deep dive into emotional trauma, ball movement and fantasy basketball folklore.
Incredible really. No wonder this franchise was in shambles all season.
At some point, someone in that front office has to actually care about basketball again. Because right now, it feels like everyone involved with this organization is doing everything but their actual jobs.
And just so we’re clear: Small Ball has characters named Magic, Bird, and Michael Jordan (not that one). There’s no fifth player because the number five doesn’t exist on the island. And the main character can’t pass the ball because his mom is dying and he’s worried about crushing his tiny teammates.
I’m not making that up. This is what we’re dealing with. And they wonder why nobody believes in this team anymore.
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He didn’t write it. He’s the producer. Meaning mostly he provides some of the funding and comes to an occasional rehearsal. The musical has run in a couple of other cities since 2018 and is kind of old news. But you probably know all this because you read the article you posted, right? And did the slightest amount of research before you posted your click-hungry shit post. Right?
since 2018? so we can credit daryl morey for being bad at his actual job for much longer than just last year? perfect. and no i dont do any research at all. i probably should though..lol – have a good weekend