America is a Dying Country: Almost 40% of the Gen Z workforce wants private spaces at work to “hook-up”

I’ll start by saying that yes, it’s 2 a.m. and I would be better off sleeping than writing about Gen Z dorks proposing ridiculous things but this was just too crazy to pass up.

According to a new “study”, 40% of the freaks in Gen Z, born between the mid-1990s and early 2010s, are demanding a place in the office to get laid and/or privately punish themselves during their shift.

Almost 40% of the Gen Z workforce wants private spaces at work to “hook-up”

Will office sex be the new norm? Almost 40% of Gen Zers want private spaces at work to hook-up https://t.co/xutHCoNElt
— Fast Company (@FastCompany) June 15, 2025

I guess we should start by saying that I have no idea who Fast Company is and there’s a strong chance that the article is completely made up and only the author of that post wants to bang their coworker so they decided to make the entire situation up.

Either way, I think we’re all on the same page in saying America is a dying country, right? This is absolutely disgusting.

The last thing I need is to open up the supply closet at TLL HQ and find Steven punishing himself relentlessly to stock photos in the latest Summer 2025 catalog from WB Mason.

Next thing you know, Cass is walking through the lobby with one of the million girls that simply smiled in his direction on a Phans of Philly trip.

I would also be wondering where Conway went because I haven’t seen him since earlier in the week, only to find him in the bathroom with a belt around his neck and books of old baseball cards scattered across the floor while he mumbles on about Mo Vaughn and Kenny Lofton and the “glory days” in Cleveland when they were still called the Indians.

Obviously, none of that has happened…yet.

I’m also pretty sure that anyone who even suggested such an idea probably doesn’t get laid (ever) and grew up in the world of social media that has completely neutered their social skills to the point where they couldn’t even imagine have a real conversation with someone they were attracted to in public.

It’s either those types or the even more depressing and annoying group that is always screaming about “sexual freedom” while looking like they haven’t bathed themselves or put anything remotely healthy in their bodies since birth.

Outside of that, it could just be Gen Z, 20-year old dudes looking to recapture what they missed out on in college. These sad saps are now stuck in some 9-5 office, where Regina from HR is constantly breathing down their necks for not having their shirt tucked in or for being 5 minutes late their shitty gig that barely covers rent.

They are looking to grasp the last hope of actually enjoying life, while dusting off a nasty hangover on a Monday morning drive around 5 a.m. after a proper Sunday No Shower Happy Hour courtesy of the Ocean Drive the day prior.

These boys struck out all weekend long and hell, maybe it’s not even about getting laid at this point. A good jerk-and-cry would do them right as they slowly realize that the American Dream has been dead for three decades and they have been lied to their entire lives.

They finally come to terms with the fact that going to school, getting degree and a well-paying job in their field of study is nothing more than a fever dream.

The house, job, wife, and kids seems like an impossible task at this point so what the hell, try to find another soulless mug at work to take to the hook-up room and then start planning on how you’ll avoid her for the remainder of your tenure.

Regardless, any of the above groups need to come to terms with the harsh reality that life is basically over once you join the workforce. The American Dream is dead. Politicians lied to you. Boomers ruined the entire country. And now, you’re just stuck cleaning up the mess.

An afternoon delight won’t solve your problems, Gen Z and any of the groups or justifications I listed above should have no bearing on actually allowing this type of sexual deviancy in the world place. It simply can’t happen. Law and order has be restored to the middle class and people need to start actually working again and focus on real problems.

We were all lied to about COVID-19 and now we jumped from working at home to all-out fucking in the work place? Lord have mercy. What dignity do we have left?

Honestly this all goes back to social media. I don’t know why everyone thinks they have bright ideas and it’s perfectly fine to share your opinions to millions, if not billions of people on the internet.

The false sense of confidence is astounding. Hell, I’m second-guessing whether or not I should even publish this article. For the tens of thousands that will likely read this and wonder “what the fuck”, I just want you to know that’s exactly the response I wanted from you.

I’m self-aware enough to know that almost all of you will hate this and fail to realize it’s all a joke while questioning why a Philly sports website has succumbed to writing such trash but at the end of the night, as we say here on The Liberty Line, that’s just showbiz, baby.

I’ll end it with a good rule of thumb for Gen Z

Gen Z, if you want to get freaky at work then by all means, go do it, just don’t knock on HR’s door or write a letter to the CEO asking permission like a total geek. Admit nothing. Deny everything. Apologize for it way after you get caught if you’re out of other options.