Meet NEO, the $20,000 dusting robot that can’t go outside

Apparently, the future is here and it’s boring as hell. Meet NEO, a “helpful household companion” that can clean, dust, and “assist” with daily chores like running the vacuum.

NEO The Home Robot – Now Available

NEO The Home Robot
Order Today pic.twitter.com/fTQtCHB4UW

— 1X (@1x_tech) October 28, 2025

Disclosure: I’m not a robot guy and I refuse to buy-in to the World Elite vision of taking the next step in human evolution by chipping all of our brains and ushering in the next generation of human-hybrid robots. NEO is just the first step in that direction and a bad one at that.

On the company’s website, the promo video shows NEO doing all that groundbreaking stuff, along with putting books back on a shelf and handing an old lady a bouquet of flowers while she plays a card game with her husband.

That’s not the future. That’s an awkward nursing home visit. The company claims NEO “automates household chores” and “frees time for priorities” while also offering “useful insight into every conversation.”

Yuck.

Let’s pause there. Who’s buying this pitch? Have you ever tried to have a deep, meaningful chat with ChatGPT or Siri?

It’s like talking to a Magic 8 Ball that reads philosophy books. No robot is giving you “useful insight.” They’re just guessing what you want to hear.

Here’s an idea: Go outside.

Talk to a real human being. Make a friend. Date someone. Touch grass. The last thing anyone needs is a polyester-skinned robot trying to give life advice while folding your laundry.

Scrolling further down the website, there’s a section showing NEO putting away dishes while some hipster sits inside a $3,000-a-month apartment pretending he isn’t buried in student debt from his liberal arts degree.

Unfortunately, that entire section of the site is literally broken. Just an empty box where the video should be. Kind of a tough look when you’re asking people to trust your robot with their fine china.

If your website doesn’t even work, why would your robot?

“Expert Mode” Just Means Doing Your Chores

Then we hit “Expert Mode,” which proudly showcases NEO doing shoes, dishes, and laundry. That’s it.

Do people realize these tasks take like 15 minutes a day? If you’re paying a robot to load your washer and put away sneakers, I’m sorry, you’ve lost touch with reality.

The Price Tag of Insanity

Now for the real kicker: NEO costs $499 a month on a subscription plan or $20,000 to “own.” Twenty grand. For a glorified Roomba with hands.

I’m not sure I’m ready for the “robot ownership” economy, but I’ll give them this, at least they’re finally putting these metal house elves in their rightful place beneath actual human beings.

The FAQ (Or “Frequently Asked Failures”)

Can NEO cook? No. The website proudly says it “can’t cook” but can “help clean up and provide great recipes.” Basically, it will watch you burn dinner, then wipe the counter afterward.

Is NEO waterproof? Also no. Apparently, NEO’s kryptonite is water. It can’t go outside. Can’t get wet. Can’t handle spills. You drop a cup of water on it, and congratulations, you just fried $20,000 worth of circuits that you bought in a glorified slave trade.

This is what I’ve been saying all along. Robots will always lose to water. It’s their Achilles’ heel. Rain, coffee, toddler with a juice box, it doesn’t matter. One splash and NEO’s done.

So yeah, the future might be here, but if it can’t cook, can’t go outside, and dies from a spill, then maybe it should stay in the box. We really need to pump the brakes on these robots and really, AI in general. We are being sold absolute shit right now and everyone is falling for it.

Take a second and think about it. If this is what they are offering the general public, what’s really going on behind closed doors? My guess, nothing good, and we’re all on a one-way path to extinction in the very near future.

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