There’s a non-zero percent chance Jeffrey Epstein called you a slur in a COD lobby

The latest Jeffrey Epstein file release is dark. From Diaper Donny Trump to Jay-Z, almost every notable celebrity you once admired shows up somewhere in the files. Never fall in love with your idols, as they say.

Buried in all of that ugliness, there is one small moment of objective humor that I cannot stop thinking about. Among the several thousand emails Epstein received, there is one from Xbox LIVE support informing the kid fucker that he had been permanently banned from the service.

Jeffrey Epstein probably called you a slur in a COD lobby

Microsoft banned Jeffrey Epstein from Xbox Live in 2013 for “harassment, threats, and/or abuse of other players” that was “severe, repeated, and/or excessive.” pic.twitter.com/DJ79Jls0PC

— Tom Warren (@tomwarren) January 30, 2026

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Getting banned off any platform in 2026 is not that unheard of. It happens pretty frequently, and often for far less than this. Back in 2013, Xbox LIVE was the wild wild west. Anything was fair game.

2013 sat right in that sweet spot in history where nothing was off limits. People could say anything and get away with it. I am not saying it was right or wrong, it is just the reality of what things were like back then.

I cannot tell you how many times I heard the most heinous thing imaginable while playing Call of Duty with the boys. COD lobbies were notorious for it. I once got threatened by someone’s dad, true story. His kid was using that old Kinect setup where the mic was always on, so everyone in the room could hear. The kid told us his dad was making him get off the game or something, and I responded, “Your dad sucks.”

Unbeknownst to me, his dad was listening. In the background, you could hear him getting angrier by the second.

About a minute later, the dad started yelling at me through the Kinect. His exact words, I will never forget them, were, “Why don’t you tell your friend to come on over, and then we’ll see who sucks what.” Given the sexual undertones there, I have no choice but to now believe that was Jeffrey Epstein.

Jeffrey Epstein threatened me on Xbox LIVE. I was one of his many victims.

Joking, obviously. But the point is this. You could say anything on Xbox back then. So for Epstein to actually get banned is kind of impressive. One can only imagine the type of slurs he was throwing around. What a sicko.