Bryan decided that the Sixers were the best team to support in his new home and clearly has no idea what he’s signed up for

Bryan G. lives in University City. Moved there for college. Decided the Sixers were the best team to support in his new home. Is currently holding a Coors Light tall boy in a number 77 jersey looking like the happiest man in Philadelphia.

Bryan had no idea what he was doing when he said that.

Bryan G has dedicated his Philly sports fandom to the Sixers

Oh God Bless you Bryan

— Philly Scott Van Pelt (@HauserBrett) April 5, 2026

First of all, who does this? You move to a new city and just adopt the local team like it is nothing? Like there is no history, no trauma, no generational suffering baked into what it means to root for this franchise?

Bryan rolled in from wherever he came from, cracked open a Coors Light, put on a Sixers jersey, and decided this was his team now.

Truly insane behavior.

“Choose Chill” is literally the opposite thing that the Sixers do. Coors Light, I love a nice Silver Bullet just like the rest of them but read the room. Clearly, Bryan was hammered and forgot where he came from. Now, he has no idea what is waiting for him on the other side of this relationship.

So let’s break it down as simply as possible. What’s waiting for Bryan G. is a world of misery, disappointment, anger, and pain both emotional and physical. That is what the Sixers deliver. In fact, it’s the only product being sold by this organization.

The Sixers will take everything Bryan has and leave him staring at his ceiling at 2 AM wondering how a team this talented can find so many creative ways to break his heart.

I say all of this as someone who genuinely believes a healthy Sixers team can win the East this season. I mean that. I also say it as someone who has been through the absolute worst of what this franchise has to offer.

The collapses. The injuries. The Process. The Kawhi shot. Daryl Morey. The endless injury reports that mean nothing. The Epstein Files. The wasted trade deadlines and draft picks. You name it. Battle tested through and through.

I made a blood oath somewhere along the way to Trust The Process and remain optimistic that Joel Embiid will deliver us to the promised land.

I have no other option than to support this organization until there was nothing left to trust and now I am locked in, waist deep in the thickest mud imaginable, unable to turn back, just hoping that one day the lord above looks down on Philadelphia and decides we have suffered enough.

Bryan is at the beginning of that journey and he does not even know it yet. Welcome to hell Bryan G. We are sorry in advance.

Quick Note: For the idiots on social media. Obviously this post from the Sixers is complete bullshit. I know that. I’m just writing about it because it’s funny. Get over it.

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