We’re Cooked: Josh Harris’ scripted press conference is the final nail in the coffin, he must sell the 76ers

I had a moment of clarity last night.

Laying in bed, stoned to the gills, I watched Josh Harris‘ press conference from Thursday afternoon. Instead of my standard panic attack in that state of mind, I was calm. For the first time in a long time, I understood exactly why the Sixers are the way they are.

Josh Harris is not a human being.

Sure, maybe he technically is. Maybe. But not in the way you or I understand it. There is no soul there. Nothing beyond the flesh and bones makes him human. He is an agent of late-stage capitalism, floating through life in a suit, trying to suck up as much money as possible while wearing the loose, uncomfortable skin of a normal person.

I reached this conclusion after one specific interaction, when Josh Harris was asked about the fan frustration directed at him. A normal person would have answered like a normal person. Maybe with some anger. Maybe with some honesty. Maybe with the slightest flicker of shame.

Josh Harris did none of that.

Instead, he flipped through a few pages of the pamphlet sitting on the podium in front of him, found the pre-approved script for when this question inevitably came, and read it out loud like a hostage video.

That was when I put my phone down, stared blankly at my ceiling, and accepted the truth.

There is no point anymore.

None of this matters, and it won’t start mattering again until this cockroach sells our beloved 76ers.

Josh Harris’ scripted press conference is the final nail in the coffin for me

Josh Harris addresses some of the fan's criticisms of him individually. pic.twitter.com/hrkV9IAcgt

— PHLY Sixers (@PHLY_Sixers) May 14, 2026

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I’ve written this before, but it is worth saying again.

The only way to combat someone like Josh Harris is to stop giving him money.

Stop going to games. Stop buying official 76ers merch. Stop pretending any of this will change while he is still cashing checks from the misery he created. He has a monopoly on Philadelphia basketball because of circumstance and nothing else. There is no deeper reason he should own this team. No earned connection. No basketball vision. No civic duty. Just money.

He knows nothing about basketball. He doesn’t even know how to give a proper handshake. He just wants your money, and he thinks if he stands at a podium and spits out AI-generated platitudes, everyone will calm down and show up again next season.

Not me.

Firing Daryl Morey was never enough. Everyone except Tyrese Maxey and VJ Edgecombe should be gone next season. From the top down. Even Joel Embiid, as much as it pains me to say. This era is over. It has to be. A new GM with the same people above him, the same rotten leadership structure, and the same soulless owner will not change a damn thing.

This city needs a hard reset with the 76ers.

Josh Harris, if there is any humanity left in that billionaire brain of yours, leave this city for good. This is the same man who didn’t even pay Wells Fargo Center employees during COVID. Embiid did.

That tells you everything.

Harris is a rat man. A pathetic excuse for a businessman who worked hand in hand with Jeffrey Epstein after he was already convicted. He wants a good ROI and an increase in shareholder value. He does not want an NBA championship. At least not in the way we want one. To him, a title is a business asset. To us, it is the thing we have been bleeding for our entire lives.

The only thing we can do is stop supporting this team financially and try to force his hand.

Sadly, I don’t even know if that will work. Because the people of this city love their sports. They always will. That love is the whole reason parasites like Harris can survive here in the first place.

But I can’t keep watching this team. Not like this. Not as long as that cuck is still here.