Knicks must not win the NBA Finals, for the good of the human race

The Knicks are up 2-0 on the Spurs, two wins from their first championship since 1973, and I need everyone reading this to understand that we are no longer talking about basketball. We are talking about the survival of polite society. This is bigger than a banner.

Let me explain how I got here.

Knicks tickets now cost more than a car, and that’s a threat to all of us

The get-in price for Monday’s Game 3 at Madison Square Garden is $9,257. Not the good seats. The worst seats. The cheapest possible way to stand in that building.

On Thursday it was $7,142. So in roughly 48 hours, the floor of the market went up two grand. Game 4 will run you $13,159 just to walk in the door. If you want an actual lower-bowl seat, that’s $74,652, which is a down payment on a house in most of this country.

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Think about what that means. Ten thousand dollars to watch a regular human being dribble a ball is not a price. It is a dare. It is a billionaire arena looking at working people and asking how much abuse they’ll absorb before they stop showing up.

And here’s the part that should scare you: if it works here, it works everywhere. Concerts. Diners. Your kid’s school play. Once a market learns it can charge ten grand for the cheap seats and still sell out, that number never comes back down. This isn’t a Knicks problem. It’s a canary in the coal mine, and the canary is being scalped on StubHub.

The President is coming, and the vibe is officially cursed

Trump is expected at Game 3. Because of that, MSG and the Secret Service have warned fans of a strict no-bag policy, TSA-style screening, and a request to show up at least two hours early.

Read that again. You’re paying nine thousand dollars and then standing in a line normally reserved for an international flight, all so one guy can wave from a suite. You get the privilege of the body scan and the bill.

Even Stephen A. Smith wants him to stay home. On his radio show, Smith, who swore up and down this had nothing to do with politics, said in over 30 years covering sports he’s bracing for an environment he’s never witnessed. When Stephen A. is the voice of restraint, you know the night is doomed.

And here’s the detail that lives in my head rent free. Two weeks ago, this same man said he couldn’t attend his own son’s wedding, citing government business and the situation with Iran. Couldn’t spare an afternoon for his kid.

But Game 3? Cleared the whole calendar.

I’m not saying that tells you something about a person’s priorities. I’m saying I’d never stop you from drawing your own conclusion.

For humanity’s sake, root against the Knicks

So no. We cannot let this happen.

We cannot reward an arena that charges ten thousand dollars for the privilege of a strip search. We cannot let a coronation built on price gouging and motorcade security become the night sports fans point back to as normal. And we definitely cannot let New York throw a parade for it.

Root for the Spurs. Root for a Game 7 that drags this thing back to San Antonio and out of that building.

Because the Knicks winning isn’t a sports result anymore. It’s a green light.

It tells every owner the gouging works.

It tells every arena the security theater plays.

It tells every fan to shut up, pay up, and arrive two hours early.

The Knicks have the lead. The Knicks have the building. The Knicks have the President flying in for the photo op.

The Knicks cannot have the trophy.