Wawa is opening a new location on Thursday which is being written about on every major publication in the city of Philadelphia as the “Stadium Store” that will be the “first store within city limits that will sell beer.” There’s only one big problem with each one of these stories. The Stadium Store is no where near the Sports Complex.

Do these writers know where Citizens Bank Park and the Wells Fargo Center are located? After a quick Google Maps search, here’s how far the Stadium Store is located from the sports complex.

Okay so first off, this store is at the base of the Platt Bridge on the right hand side before you hit the entrance to the Navy Yard. It’s 1.5 miles away from the Wells Fargo Center. Unless you want to take a 30 minute walk through FDR Park (would not advise) or navigate through the hell storm of traffic on Pattison Avenue, this new Stadium Store is anything but that. In fact, you can hit a Sunoco Gas Station on the way and save yourself a half mile trek while you’re trying to get obliterated before a Phillies, Sixers, or Eagles game.

That’s not even mentioning the fact that Xfinity Live is there to get your alcoholic fix and now the new Live! Casino and Hotel. You’re really not left with many choices anyways. You either have to head into a jam packed Xfinity Live and wait an hour for a stale Bud Light or now walk through the park and down a strip of the highway and into a city Wawa that will surely be poorly managed, destroyed, and completely dirty with little to nothing left on the shelves to purchase.

These articles even have the audacity to write “it won’t just be beer, it’s a BEER CAVE” like the city of Philadelphia has never purchased beer before. The Philadelphia Inquirer, which you can’t read unless you pay for (go incognito) describes the Beer Cave as a “magical place where Gritty and the Phanatic will retire some day.”

Give me a fucking break. Wawa must be paying these news publications to write such garbage. Either that, or the writers have zero clue what they are talking about and have never been tailgating in South Philadelphia.

What makes things worse, is that Wawa is having an opening ceremony that will feature Philadelphia Union Captain Alejandro Bedoya doing a coffee toast. Bedoya, as well as the rest of the Philadelphia Union and their fans are probably left wondering why they are building a Wawa in not so close walking distance to the stadiums while they’re stuck playing in Chester outside of city limits.

If you’re attending this opening ceremony, you’re an asshole. Am I overly angry about this situation because I watched five hours of bad Sixers and Phillies games last night? Probably.

Do yourself a favor. If you’re tailgating, buy beer before you enter the hell hole that is the Sports Complex on game day. We all know how bad Sports Radio is, now we have major news publications pushing this garbage. The city of Philadelphia needs a complete overhaul in the media department. Luckily, we’re here to start the movement.

Listen to The Misery Report

Mandatory Credit: This picture is from Wawa, which they dished out to the Philadelphia Inquirer and Philly Voice for their puff piece about this store.