Weekend Rips: Phillies play the Marlins, gears of the propaganda machine turn at full capacity
Another week is about to be in the books. Ignore the rain forecasted here in the Philadelphia area. We’ve got a ton of sports to watch, bet on, and drink because of. I will be enjoying the weekend a little extra, as it is my last day working for my current employer. Luckily, I appear to be leaving on excellent terms, which may shock many of you, especially my close friends in the Reddit comment section. What will I be doing next? Why do you care?
Forget what I’m doing after my workday ends. I’m here to tell you what you all should be watching this weekend. My girl’s in the kitchen, the wife’s in the morgue; it’s boys’ night. It’s time to let it rip.
Phillies play the f*ckin Marlins man
The Phillies are back on the other side of the All-Star break. If this team goes on a run starting this weekend, there’s a chance we’ll be buyers at the trade deadline. The Phillies have a ton of needs to fortify the roster, but first, they need to win the series against the Marlins this weekend, which rarely happens.
The Marlins, for some reason, own the Phils, regardless of how bad they are that particular season. We’ve got a double-header on this beautiful Friday, with game one starting at 4:05 PM. Matt Moore and Led Zeflin will pitch today, with Vinny Velo hurling at 6:05 on Saturday. All-Star Zack Wheeler will close out the series on Sunday at 1:05.
All on NBCS Philly. Thank god.
The Union look to avoid a D.C. Insurrection
The Union are set to play host to DC United on Saturday night. The Snakes (as I’ve elected to call them) currently sit in third place in the Eastern Conference. The high-flying outfit is in an excellent position to claim all three points over an objectively pitiful DC United side. Put the Snakes in Subaru Park, and a win is a total lock on the weekend.
Stellar goalkeeper Andre Blake inked a multiyear deal, so we’re fortunate he’ll be sticking around. Now, the team finally has the attacking prowess to help the guy out.
You can tune in on PHL17, or if you’re in Philadelphia, you can watch on philadelphiaunion.com. You can also listen to the FOX Sports The Gambler broadcast, which is available via 102.5 FM, 104.5 HD2, the iHeart App, and 1480 AM. 7:30 kickoff on the Delaware River, what more could you want?
The Open Championship
If you thought, “don’t you mean the British Open?” just exit the webpage now. Your click has been registered, and I have no further use for you.
Editors Note: (Drew Smith): Fuck you Conway, it’s the British Open. There’s the U.S. Open and the British Open. They don’t just get to come in and take over the entire time of the golf tournament. Sorry. There’s a little thing called AMERICA. The greatest country in the world. British rule is DEAD to me and they don’t get first pick on anything.
Now that we have that out of the way, The Open is underway this weekend at Royal St. George’s Golf Club. My man Jordan Speith is out in front at -9 with 14 holes to play in the second round. Something tells me he’ll catch the dub. I’m 2-0 on non-Philly sports predictions in Weekend Rips, so something tells me you guys should throw some money down on Speith.
The field is tightly packed behind him, and anything can happen. Especially when the tournament is played along the Engish coast. Things can get real weird real quick.
Damian Lillard could be on his way out. Sorry Sixers fans, I hate to be the bearer of bad news:
The Liberty Line
TLL Sports, LLC is officially a business. Suck on that, Congress. Now we exist in the sweet spot for a website. If we get sued for something TLL-related, they can only take assets related to the company. What’s great about this right now is that we have no assets to speak of. We’re essentially invincible until we start raking in the dough. Which we will, don’t you worry.
We are no longer a part of the propaganda machine. We are the machine. I am the media. We will be victorious. One Nation. One People. One Blog.
Have a banger of a weekend folks. Force your friends to read Weekend Rips. Get drunk. BUY A SHIRT. TLL cannot be stopped, so get onboard or get out of the way.
Mandatory Credit: The Good Phight