I have to admit I had no idea the Eagles would look so damn good in week one. From the moment the Birds took the field they bore no resemblance to the rotting corpse that made the 2020 squad so unbearable to watch. Having Jalen Hurts under center was refreshing as washing the sand off your balls after a long day on the beach in Sea Isle. The offensive skill position players looked fast and dynamic. The veteran offensive line played like the best unit on the field, were confident, and manhandled the Falcons all game.

Moving on from the un-athletic and oft-injured Carson Wentz to Jalen Hurts was like the first time you fuck someone new after spending five years in a sinking relationship. One that had its exciting and successful moments early on, but over time slowly simmered into a shit-stew of contempt. It only took four of those years for you to realize that no matter how good that person was in short stretches all the other stuff bugged the ever living shit out of you.

The Falcons may simply be one of the worst teams in football. Atlanta is certainly in their own lifeless long-term relationship with Matt Ryan. Im positive almost every fan in the ATL this week is questioning why they didn’t swipe right on Justin Fields or Mac Jones this off-season. Sometimes the only way to become a better person (team) is to take a chance on the unknown, roll the proverbial dice and get out there again.

Either way I like that the Eagles didn’t hesitate to put away a team they were clearly more talented then. Thats an early sign you have a quality squad on your hands.  Under Doug Pederson, Atlanta would have hung around until late in the fourth, forcing Jake Elliott to make a clutch kick or Wentz a dazzling throw. 

Looking forward to Week 2, I don’t think the 49ers are either the Goliaths the media want to make them out to be or terrible for letting the Lions back in the game. Im certainly not scared of Jimmy G, who must be growing increasingly uncomfortable looking over his shoulder at the new hot thing in Trey Lance. The 49ers are playing with a depleted defense due to injuries and only have one game of tape to prepare for the play-calling of Nick Sirrianni.

In the words of Brent Musburger, “A home team getting points, what sweeter then that”. Well Brent, a west coast team flying east to play at 1 pm local in front of a sure to be drunken and raucous capacity crowd at the Linc that’s what! Maybe its the fact that the Phillies scored 17 runs last night and I am still erect but I have never felt better about the outcome of an Eagles home game.

Give me the Eagles ML and the points.

We went 3-2 last week and I don’t do advanced math like fellow TLL gambling correspondent Matt Martelucci in his weekly college football gambling blog, so its almost impossible to know how much money I have made for you at this point. Don’t worry, you can thank me later when you send me a Christmas card in December with a picture of your new Air Jordans or whatever you 20-something degenerates are into these days.

Best Bets Week One >>

But first, if you or someone you know has a gambling problem, call 1-800-522-4700; help is available 24/7 and 100% confidential.

*all odds via Parx Sportsbook as of 9/18/21*

My prediction and best bets are below

Final Score: Eagles 33-49ers 23

Eagles +125 & Eagles + 3

The 49ers are 7-17-2 ATS as a favorite under Kyle Shanahan, while the Eagles have covered five straight as a home underdog. As Mr. Musberger detailed in the opening I am not sure the Eagles should be catching points at home on Sunday. The 49ers may very well be the better team this season but its simply a terrible spot.

Devonta Smith over 50 receiving yards (-110)

The 49ers lost starting corner Jason Verrett to a season-ending injury last week. Thats not good news for a secondary facing the somehow still underrated Smith. With speedy secondary options Jalen Reagor and Quez Watkins forcing the 49ers safeties to respect the deep ball, I fully expect Smith to have 5 to 10 receptions on intermediary routes get him the ball where he really shines with yards after the catch.

Side Note: Can you believe these losers commenting on Victor Williams tweet? K’Wuan Williams. lol. Get out of here. 49ers fans are so soft. Vic will be enjoying a nice victory parade come Sunday afternoon.

Trey Lance anytime TD +500

Call it a hunch, but I wouldn’t put it past 49ers coach Kyle Shannahan to get creative around the goal line with an injured and young backfield. Lance is no stranger to tucking the ball and running as he rushed for 1,325 yards and 18 touchdowns while averaging 6.9 yards per carry in 19 college games at North Dakota State. At +500 I think we are getting good value as we have already seen the 49ers willing to deploy Lance in the red zone. 

Elijah Mitchell under 57.5 rushing yards

Mitchell, a sixth round pick in the 2021 Draft out of Louisiana had a huge day piling up 104 yards on just 19 carries. The 49ers lost veteran Raheem Mostert to a season-ending knee injury and third round pick from Ohio State Trey Sermon was inactive last week. I am going to be keeping a close eye on the injury updates leading up to Sunday but there’s nothing I love more than fading a big performance in Week One from a rookie. If JaMycal Hasty and Trey Sermon both suit up I don think Mitchell gets anywhere close the 19 carries he saw agains the Lions.