Game day has finally arrived for the Eagles. They are set to face off against the Washington Football Team tonight at 7 PM. Both teams have records of 6-7 and are on the outside looking in of the NFC playoff picture. Both teams need to win to stay relevant. It’s not hyperbole to say the season is on the line.

Unfortunately, that’s not the only thing on the line today…

Yesterday it was announced that seven of the WFT coaches were going to be unavailable due to positive Covid results. This team is still undergoing an active outbreak and should have been made to forfeit this week’s game. Pushing back the game has done nothing but allow the virus to circulate even more amongst the players and coaches.

Thanks to the greed of Roger Goodell and the NFL, we currently have a team of highly infectious football players flying into PHL for some reason. Washington is like a ninety minutes drive away. It probably took longer to taxi the plane on the runway than it would have to just drive to Philly in a hermetically sealed bus.

Eagles fans make no mistake, this is biological warfare.

Roger Goodell clearly hates the city of Philadelphia. He wants to use the Washington Football Team to block the Eagles from making the playoffs by any means necessary. Even if the Eagles win today, they are at high risk for an outbreak by being coughed on during the game. Imagine winning tonight, only to find out by Friday that the entire offensive line and secondary is out because of Covid protocols.

With that in mind I’ve decided to research some preventative options the Eagles could take to help lessen any potential viral load they encounter.

The Joe Rogan Method:

(This portion of the article has been stricken from the site by the CDC, Dr. Anthony Fauci and the Surgeon General. If you wish to learn more about Covid treatments and preventative measures please check here.)

Upgraded Uniform Method:

Assuming they can’t get enough ivermectin by game time today, the Eagles may find themselves forced to take other measures. The simplest way to reduce the spread of the virus may be simply enhanced personal protective equipment. There’s the classic full hazmat suit. While it would provide good protection, there’s the question of how well the pads will fit underneath the suit.

Personally I’m leaning more towards the “Plague Doctor” look.

The intimidation factor is off the charts. It already kind of looks like a bird. And you can just drape the cloak right over the pads.

Obviously the other option would be just classic cloth face masks and putting plastic visors on everybody’s helmet. But if you’re going to be forced to face a horrifying pandemic head first, you may as well do it with style.