Joe Girardi’s daughter has the dumbest sounding business ever
I would like to start this off by saying I have nothing against Joe Girardi personally. Sure I can’t stand his utilization of the bullpen and I don’t like the way the Phillies have played down the stretch the past few years but those are professional quarrels.
On a personal level I didn’t know anything about him or his family. That is, until today I didn’t. As it turns out, Joe Girardi has kids.
It appears slippery Joe Girardi used his pull to get a glowing profile of his oldest daughter’s business in the Philadelphia Inquirer. What kind of business is it? A classic rich kid business.
Don’t worry she’s not the new director of scouting for the Phillies. That’s a different manager’s kid. She puts babies to sleep.
“Serena launched her business — Sand And Sleep — last summer after graduating from Palm Beach Atlantic University. Serena, who lives in Florida, consults virtually with parents and advises them on how to find a sleep routine that works for their child.”
People apparently pay Joe Girardi’s daughter to teach their baby how to sleep
As someone who has kids of my own this is hilarious. The idea of hiring some 22 year old to tell me that my baby needs to eat before he goes to sleep is baffling. How stupid are the people that need to hire Joe Girardi’s daughter to put their kids to bed?
Most of the readers of this site are too young to have kids, or are manchildren that pretend to still be in college, so I’m going to let you all in on a little secret about babies:
They are the easiest thing in the world to take care of. If you have a pulse you can take care of a baby. They eat, shit, and sleep. Unless there is some medical problem, all three of those things occur naturally. If they aren’t happening you call your pediatrician. You don’t call the daughter of Joe Girardi.
This business is likely being propped up by family friends of the Girardi’s and probably creepy older dads that are hoping to start an affair.
I checked out her website to see what she charges to tell people to swaddle their babies and you’ll be thrilled to know she has these rich bozos paying through the nose.
$299.99 is a steep price to pay to have some college kid tell you to try to be stricter with your baby’s feeding schedule. Especially when you consider that I just told you that for free right now.
That’s not the best part of this though. The best part is the company instagram account.
Serena Girardi could have been a silent film actress in a different life.
Here she is helpfully pointing out that she is, in fact, Serena.
I like to imagine in this one she’s dramatically asking if you your baby makes too much noise.
You guys might think I’m being mean here, and maybe I am. But if you want free press nobody is promising you it will all be positive. Who knows, maybe some errant rich weirdo is going to click on this blog and hire her to train their lab grown quintuplets to sleep through the night.
So you’re welcome Serena.
mandatory credit: fabwags.com