If you’re a fan of Billy Joel, you will likely be excited to learn that there is currently a movie in the works about the famous singer-songwriter. “Piano Man” is currently being written by Adam Ripp, the son of one of Joel’s first producers. It may look like we’re about to get a nice biopic and a glimpse into the life of Billy Joel. Maybe they’ll explain how Philadelphia was the place his career took off, right?

Nope. Unfortunately that’s not the case.

According to Variety…

“The biopic will follow Joel’s early years — from being discovered by Irwin Mazur, who managed the band The Hassles that Joel joined as a teenager, to his breakout performance in 1972 that captured the attention of Clive Davis. However, Billy Joel’s rep says that Joel is not involved with this film project, and that no rights in music, name/likeness or life story will be granted.”

A Billy Joel movie without Billy Joel or his music?

I’m curious to see how this works out.

Do they just have a tiny nameless man appear on the fringes of a story about somebody else making vague references to wanting to be a piano man some day?

That’s exactly what they’re going to do.

This isn’t really a story about Billy Joel. If you read more than the headline you discover it’s actually a story about that guy that is claiming to have “discovered” Billy Joel.

To put this in sports terms, it’s like if the middle school coach of LeBron James claimed he “discovered” him because he happened to be the gym teacher at whatever Akron middle school LeBron went to.

This is a truly disappointing turn of events. When I saw the headline I was hoping Hollywood was going to give Billy Joel the kind of musical biopic treatment he deserves.

Instead it’s just another rich kid make work project. What a bummer.

You can say “Goodnight Saigon,” because this ain’t no “Ballad of Billy the Kid.” “I’m Movin’ Out” and forgetting all about this movie. You can tell the producers of this movie “You may be right,” but “Honesty” requires me to say I’m never going to watch this movie.

That paragraph was the entire reason I wrote this blog post.

Now watch ancient Billy Joel rock out at Citizen’s Bank Park and tell me that man doesn’t deserve a real movie about him.

We are literally watching a real-life version of Jackie Jormp-Jomp play out in front of our eyes.

Mandatory Credit: Tampa Bay Times