In the wake of the Russian invasion of Ukraine last week it has become increasingly popular to make declarations of solidarity with the Ukrainian people and also jokes about getting drafted into WWIII.

If you were like me, an unrepentant drunk, you immediately wondered how this would affect your ability to get drunk on cheap Russian vodka.

Russian vodka has been banned in Pennsylvania.

Governor Tom Wolf announced yesterday that Pennsylvania State Liquor stores would no longer be carrying Russian vodkas and other products. Before this makes any of the goofier guys and gals reading the site panic, let me assure you that you can rest easy.

Smirnoff products will still be available. You’ll still be free to drink your terrible wine coolers and flavored vodka abominations. Absolut will also still be available. Why would anyone drink that when they can get the same headache and vomit-inducing dizziness from whiffing a gas tank for free? I don’t know.

So which Russian Vodka products will you no longer be able to get at your PA Fine Wines and Good Spirits store?

Full List of Banned Russian Vodka

Russian Standard
Ustianochka

That’s it?

Yes, that is in fact, the only actual Russian liquor you could walk into a PA State Store and get your hands on. That’s pretty wild when you think about how hardcore the Russians are about Vodka. That’s like if you came to Philadelphia and found out there were only two cheesesteak places.

What a letdown.

The PA State Liquor Control Board announced they would also release a list of Ukrainian brands that people can buy to support. That’s a nice statement if you prefer to mix drinking with politics. From my experience it’s usually the best to keep those two things separate, but I certainly won’t judge anyone that doesn’t.

Hopefully someday soon we can go back to not worrying about where our booze comes from again.

Here’s hoping they don’t ban Russian Dashcam Videos from YouTube next.

mandatory credit: Sony Pictures