Miami’s Philly Cheesesteak Milkshake is an abomination and relating it to Villanova makes it even worse

Yesterday, the University of Miami baseball team hosted Villanova, and as a “welcome” to their Philadelphia visitors, they served up a Philly Cheesesteak Milkshake.

Yes. You read that correctly. A milkshake. With a cheesesteak. On top.

Miami’s Philly Cheesesteak Milkshake is an abomination and relating it to ‘Philly School’ Villanova makes it even worse

The rest of the internet getting introduced to the famous @MarkLightShake rotation is the content that’s needed in this country @bigdonkey47 https://t.co/8BIvjo897b
— Taylor Thomas (@_TaylorThomas14) March 5, 2025

Now, let’s ignore for a second that Villanova is in the Main Line, not Philly (a debate for another day). Even if this were Temple, La Salle, or Saint Joe’s, this would still be a culinary hate crime against Philadelphia.

Gimmicky arena food is usually harmless fun. A 24-inch glizzy is always a good time. A burger with donuts for buns? Not really my thing but sure, why not. The whole idea is to create a ridiculous novelty that people try once, post on Instagram, and tell their friends about. It’s not about gourmet cuisine, it’s about the experience.

But this? This cheesesteak milkshake monstrosity? This is where we have to draw the line.

The audacity of Miami to serve our sacred cheesesteak on top of a dessert is appalling. What part of that soggy bread, greasy beef, melted cheese, and vanilla ice cream sounds like a good idea? The only explanation is that someone lost a bet or they’re actively trying to make people sick. I don’t care if you eat the cheesesteak first and then sip the shake—it’s still dumb.

Philly Cheesesteak Milkshake Final Verdict: Absolutely Not

This is not how you welcome anyone. You want to be a good host? Give Villanova players a real cheesesteak. Fly in a shipment from Dalessandro’s or Angelo’s.

Fucking hell…even a Pat’s or Geno’s would be less offensive than this nonsense.

Just buy a separate cheesesteak. Buy a separate milkshake. Consume them like a functioning adult. The mere thought of hot cheese dripping into vanilla ice cream makes my stomach turn.

This is a food war crime, and literally no one should be eating it.

The Philly Cheesesteak Milkshake belongs in the garbage. End of story.