Word To The Wise: Don’t ask Paul Skenes about bobbleheads after yet another shutout for the last place Pirates

Look, I get it. Bobblehead Day is a big deal. People in Pittsburgh were lined up like it was Black Friday outside a Circuit City in 2003 just to get their hands on a Paul Skenes bobblehead — and honestly, fair play. The kid’s the real deal. He’s got the golden arm, the bulldog mentality, and now a tiny, plastic version of himself being flipped on eBay for $80.

Line for Paul Skenes’ bobblehead was past the Clemente Bridge and into Downtown

The line for Paul Skenes' bobblehead goes past the Clemente Bridge and into Downtown Pittsburgh 🤯

(via @ThePoniExpress)pic.twitter.com/E7odApJj8o

— FOX Sports: MLB (@MLBONFOX) April 19, 2025

But if you were one of the reporters who thought it was a good idea to ask multiple questions about bobbleheads after the Pirates got shut out for the fourth time in 22 games, I sincerely hope you walked to your car in total silence afterward and re-evaluated your life choices.

Because let me tell you what you were looking at during that press conference: a man in baseball hell.

Paul Skenes on the lines for his bobblehead today & a packed PNC park

Paul Skenes on the lines for his bobblehead today & a packed PNC park ⬇️

"It's cool. Wish we would've gotten them a win." pic.twitter.com/Wk4rUnHDgi

— SportsNet Pittsburgh (@SNPittsburgh) April 19, 2025

Skenes has been everything the Pirates could’ve hoped for. Through five starts, he’s rocking a 2.87 ERA. That should make you 5-0 on a competent team.

Instead, they’re 2-3 in his starts. Why? Because Bob Nutting still thinks offense is optional. This team couldn’t score in a t-ball game. The Pirates’ bats have gone missing more times than that Bigfoot people swear they’ve seen in the woods outside Erie.

And so, on his day — the day where every single fan in PNC Park got a bobblehead with his name on it (nice move, PR department, honestly) — the Pirates lose 3-0. Again.

Not a run in sight. And Paul Skenes, bless him, has to stand there and field three questions about bobbleheads while the Pirates fall to 8-14 and sink deeper into the bottom of the NL Central.

That man did not get called up to watch his teammates ground out four times a night and chat about commemorative trinkets. He came here to win. But good luck with that when your team’s payroll is ranked 26th in the league and your front office thinks Rowdy Tellez is a solution and not a problem.

Bob Nutting might be a nice guy, sure. He also might be the cheapest owner in baseball not named John Fisher. Nice doesn’t win games. A real cleanup hitter does. But hey — at least the bobblehead giveaway was a hit. Maybe Nutting can put that in a glass case next to the team’s last winning season.

Anyway, if you see Paul Skenes today, maybe just ask him about… I don’t know… pitching? Winning? Baseball?

Leave the bobblehead talk to eBay.

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