Report: Micah Parsons might miss Eagles opener, probably because he’s already eyeing midnight green

Micah Parsons might be skipping the season opener against the Eagles, but not because of injury. Not because of load management. Not even because the Cowboys are being cautious. No, he might sit out because deep down, he knows it’s not worth lighting up his future teammates in Week 1.

After making a surprise trade request last week, Parsons and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones are barely even pretending to play nice. They haven’t spoken. There’s been zero movement on a new deal. They stood seven yards apart at practice and still couldn’t be bothered to talk. And now Jerry is openly admitting that he’s “absolutely not” confident Parsons will suit up against Philly.

Micah Parsons might be under contract, but he’s clearly not interested in fighting for a team he’s ready to walk away from.

Micah Parsons Can’t Hide the Writing on the Wall

This isn’t some hardball contract standoff. It’s a breakup in slow motion.

Micah Parsons has watched Dallas fumble away talent year after year while Philly stockpiles it like Howie Roseman’s running a damn dynasty simulator. He’s been vocal about loving Philly. Grew up in Harrisburg. Constantly praises Jalen Hurts and DeVonta Smith. Got caught on social media drooling over the Eagles defense.

Now we’re supposed to believe that right before he plays the Eagles in a nationally televised opener, he suddenly ghosts practice drills and starts talking trade?

Come on. He doesn’t want to torch the Eagles. He wants to join them.

This Is Bigger Than Money

Yes, Parsons is due $21.3 million this season. And yes, Jerry Jones says he offered “almost $200 million guaranteed.” But if that was really enough, Parsons would’ve inked it already. The man has bigger goals than money. He wants rings. Legacy. And the sad truth is, Dallas isn’t delivering either.

Meanwhile, Philly’s the NFC powerhouse with a loaded defense, an elite offense, and a front office that actually knows how to get deals done.

He’s not ducking the opener because of soreness. He’s ducking it because he’s not about to wreck Jalen Hurts, then walk into that locker room next year pretending like it didn’t happen.

Let the Cowboy Collapse Begin

This is what happens when your best player sees the bigger picture before the front office does. If Micah Parsons really does miss the Eagles game, it’ll be the most predictable implosion in Dallas history — and that’s saying something.

The Eagles are living rent-free in Micah’s head, and soon enough, he might be paying them rent instead.

Hell, someone call Howie and tell him to start clearing locker space.