SEPTA must give the Mandate of Heaven to President Xi to secure transit funding

If you live in or around Philadelphia, you know SEPTA is in a massive budget crisis. The rural Republican rats in the state legislature refuse to give the agency the funding it needs and Philadelphia’s government is powerless. Now that Gov. Shapiro has said transit funding is off the table in budget talks, it’s clear Pennsylvania’s government won’t be making up the difference.

But what if SEPTA didn’t need to rely on those buffoons in Harrisburg at all? Those fools have lost the Mandate of Heaven as far as I’m concerned, and it’s time for new leadership.

A Temple law student W.B. Lowry (sick name) suggested an intriguing alternative solution in a letter to the Inquirer: SEPTA should just ask China for the money.

President Xi, my country Philadelphia, yearns for freedom pic.twitter.com/CA5DdqTmEK

— Duncan Gromko (@DGromko) September 7, 2025

As The Liberty Line‘s resident Cold War Historian and geopolitics expert, this is an absolutely brilliant idea.

China has gone absolutely buck wild when it comes to funding transit projects in developing countries and, considering PA’s government is full of backwards morons that cry socialism despite taking money from the pockets of hardworking Philadelphians, it couldn’t be more of a perfect fit. Plus, like Lowry said, it’d be a smack in the face to a US government more interested in spending money on foreign wars than domestic issues.

Obviously in the original story in West Virginia, the Soviets never actually provided the funding. It was just a wakeup call to the state legislature. But even still, it’d make me even happier if those slack jawed troglodytes in the state government didn’t decide to fund SEPTA and instead left it up to my old pal President Xi.

So, I want to take this opportunity to speak directly to SEPTA Chairman Kenneth Lawrence. Kenny, buddy, pick up the phone and make the call. Have a Mandarin translator on standby, and get the deal done.

As for President Xi. SEPTA isn’t the only Philadelphia institution interested in some sweet Chinese yuan. The Liberty Line is always open for business, and we’ve long admired the media savvy of the CCP. If this SEPTA deal gets done (or even if it doesn’t), Drew Smith and I would love to chat about a strategic partnership.

此致敬礼,

The City of Philadelphia

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