Eagles Misery: Lane Johnson calls out Kevin Patullo for being predictable, which was the most predictable thing ever

The Eagles offense is predictable. Shocker. At least Lane Johnson is saying out loud now.

Following the worst loss of the season, the entire team looked dejected in the locker room. For the first time, it felt like they didn’t know if they could actually fix the issues.

Their team therapy session didn’t do shit, the heavy emphasis on details isn’t paying off, and now, injuries are piling up on both sides. This could be a long, dreadful season, I fear.

Lane Johnson on the Eagles shitty offense

Lane Johnson said part of the key is being “less predictable” on offense moving forward. pic.twitter.com/edyFf4Bm7U

— Tim McManus (@Tim_McManus) October 10, 2025

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To put this into context, here’s a look at the Eagles second-half offensive stats:

• 32 in points/drive (1.4)
• 32 in scores/drive (24%)
• 32 in drives to reach red zone (15%)
• 31 in punt rate (53%, avg = 33%)
• 31 in yards/drive (21 yds)
• 29 in 3-and-out rate (47%)
• 32 in EPA/play (-0.18)
• 31 in yards/play (3.1)

If this is the type of offensive output you’re getting with Jalen Hurts, Saquon Barkley, A.J. Brown, DeVonta Smith, and Dallas Goedert, you don’t deserve to be an offensive coordinator. That’s not hyperbole — any one of us could call plays better than this. When you’re dead last in almost every major category, it’s not “a slump,” it’s a failure.

This team is fresh off a Super Bowl win and decided to hand the keys to a complete unknown. If this were a rebuild, sure — let the new guy learn on the job. But this is the furthest thing from that. This roster is stacked with elite talent, and they shouldn’t have to sit around waiting for Kevin Patullo to figure out how to call plays.

Yeah, the players miss chances — that shot to Smitty changes the game if it hits, no question. But when your offense can’t scheme anyone open, can’t stay ahead of the chains on early downs, and turns into a Pop Warner operation in the second half, that’s on the coordinator. Period.

And let’s be honest — we all saw this coming. Was anyone excited when the team promoted Patullo? He’s never been an offensive coordinator. Never even been mentioned as a serious candidate anywhere else. This was the most predictable outcome imaginable, just like KP’s godforsaken offensive scheme.

Lane Johnson’s just saying what everyone’s been thinking. We all see it. Nick Sirianni blew the coordinator hire again, and now fans are stuck watching another wasted year of prime Jalen, A.J., Smitty, Goedert, and Saquon. Everyone knew it was a bad hire. No one celebrated it.

Now it’s gut-check time for the Eagles. They head to Minnesota next week to face Carson Wentz and the Vikings. You lose that game, the season’s over. Simple as that. Absolute must-win, by any means necessary.