Bashar al-Assad is living the dream playing video games in his luxury Moscow apartment

Former Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad seems to be enjoying his life in exile. According to reports, he has hunkered down in his luxury Moscow apartment and is playing video games nonstop.

Assad has been outed as a video game addict by German outlet Die Zeit:

Bashar al-Assad now lives quietly in a luxury tower in Moscow, reportedly addicted to spending long hours playing online video games, according to Die Zeit. pic.twitter.com/CU1lxKSwl8

— Globe Eye News (@GlobeEyeNews) October 10, 2025

I have to say, that’s a pretty solid way to spend your time after being deposed following a decade-plus of bloody civil war. I wasn’t exactly hoping for a soft landing for a despot so brutal that he earned the moniker “The Butcher,” but it can’t be helped.

Since we’re taking a few days off of sports here at TLL, this story immediately piqued my interest. I needed to know everything about Assad’s descent into the beautiful rabbit hole that is binge gaming.

Unfortunately for those of us with an exceedingly curious mind, Die Zeit did not manage to uncover which video games he’s been playing. On the other hand, I do have a few selections that could be plausible.

Knowing what we know about him, I think a game like Europa Universalis or Civilization V (not VI because I assume he’d deem it “too woke”) would make the most sense. The guy is a deposed dictator, I’m sure he’d jump at the chance to rule Syria once again.

On the other hand, it’s a lot more fun to imagine him playing Minecraft, Animal Crossing, or something of the like. For some reason, I can vividly picture him excitedly calling his wife into the room to show her something he built with an almost childlike wonder in his eyes.

Of course, this is the happiest and most vulnerable he’s ever been with her. So, naturally, this is the least attracted to him she’s ever been. Assad is finding true joy, but at the same time, is losing the marriage that served as the foundation of his brutal rule.

Did she ever really love him? She thought so, but now she’s not so sure. And Bashar is so wrapped up in his games he doesn’t notice the light leaving her eyes a little more each day. Next thing you know, she sleeps with a member of the security team to try and regain some control in her life. Does she regret it? Immediately. But the damage is done.

Okay, maybe that’s not so fun after all. It actually made me sad, which is hard to feel for a guy like Assad. At the same time, though, I’m probably just projecting. I’m a mess.

Anywho, I ultimately hope he’s just ripping Battlefield 6 or Call of Duty with his boys. Game chat on, just talking the most diabolical trash of all time. I do wonder, if he’s playing co-op games like this, do the people he’s playing with know who he is?

I’m going to need some follow-up from Die Zeit on this. Chop chop, schnitzel boys. Papa needs his news.

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