Disease-carrying monkey on the loose in Mississippi after semi-truck crash

A truck hauling a load of Rhesus monkeys crashed Tuesday morning on I-59 in Mississippi. According to the sheriff’s office, the truck was carrying monkeys weighing around 40 pounds each, described as aggressive toward humans and infected with hepatitis C, herpes, and COVID.

Several of the monkeys escaped after the crash, while others were trapped inside their cages. Authorities said all but one of the infected animals have since been “destroyed,” but one monkey was still on the loose as of 2 p.m. Officials warned that the monkeys require full protective gear to be handled safely.

So we still have one disease-ridden rhesus monkey completely unaccounted for? Yeah, it’s over, folks:

🚨MISSISSIPPI NEWS: Our sister station in Jackson, MS, is reporting that an overturned truck carrying "aggressive" monkeys has overturned. One is still on the loose. The others have been "destroyed." The monkeys, which have herpes, hepatitis C, and COVID, were on the way to a… pic.twitter.com/7bptgmvme8

— 🚨 Rusty Surette (@KBTXRusty) October 28, 2025

I have to say, this is completely insane. I genuinely have no idea how to even comment on this. But this is why they pay me the big bucks, so I’ll have to do my very best.

First off, how the hell does this happen? I understand that there was an accident that damaged the vehicle, but shouldn’t you have a more robust security system for a truckload of monkeys carrying diseases? Especially ones that are “aggressive” towards humans.

Second, the diseased primate game is a cold one. Those responding to the incident didn’t even bother trying to wrangle them. They just killed them all in cold blood. I hate diseased animals on the loose as much as the next guy, but that’s brutal stuff.

The reporting doesn’t explicitly say this, but it does imply that even those souls trapped in their cages and not posing a threat were destroyed as well. Damn, bruh. Those poor dudes and dudettes. Just herpified primates trying to do their best, cut down in their prime.

But now, I have to bring this back to the Caesar of the bunch. The lone wolf braving the Mississippi wilderness in search of salvation. Sure, he may have herpes, Hep-C, COVID, or, hell, all three. But that won’t stop him in his quest for the promised land.

Honestly? This sounds like a blockbuster feature film from where I’m sitting. I’ll get our lawyers on the phone to lock this IP down. From there, I know exactly who my writing partner will be.

Stand back. Standby. And stay tuned. The Day of Reckoning will come.

CORRECTION: Tulane officials were kind enough to reach out and tell me that, basically, none of this is true. There was a crash, and some monkeys did escape, but Tulane was not involved, and the monkeys are apparently not infectious. See their statement below:

“Non-human primates at the Tulane National Biomedical Research Center are provided to other research organizations to advance scientific discovery. The primates in question belong to another entity and are not infectious. We are actively collaborating with local authorities and will send a team of animal care experts to assist as needed.”

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