Dogfish Head drops a 19.5 percent “Drrrty Thrrrty” canned Dirty Martini and naturally, I have a few thoughts

I want to start by saying something nice because I am not a monster. I actually like Dogfish Head. They are the pride of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. They have always been weird in a lovable way and have never apologized for it so that alone earns my respect.

I also support breweries moving away from IPAs. I will never turn down a hoppy beverage, but IPAs make you feel like hell the next morning and anyone who claims otherwise is lying or hasn’t stood up too fast after a solid sixer of some double hazies.

Granted, I usually drink until there are none left, so maybe I should share some of the blame there. Either way, I am good with fewer enamel-melting hop bombs in circulation.

The hard seltzer wars had to end too. There were far too many of them and they all tasted like someone rinsed an artificial fruit in sparkling water.

It got boring fast. I stuck with Two Robbers over everything else and still do, but I will never say no to a Surfside lemonade.

Pro Tip: A “Surfside Stabilizer” in the morning is necessary at times if you want the day to have any shot at being productive. It will guide you through work, make you functional at a family party, or get you back on track to continue the bender with the boys.

Also, Surfside, you should literally pay me for that phrase. You might want to use it differently, and not in such a deprecating (but real) way like me, but I have an entire marketing plan awaiting your approval. Call me.

(Yes, I know. I have a problem.)

All of that brings us to the real point. I am a huge dirty martini guy.

If you recall, me and and my noble steed, Ryan Conway, Editor at Large here at The Liberty Line, had a few airport martinis on the way to Dallas with Phans of Philly and things got… theatrical.

It was 6 AM in the morning and we had over an hour until the flight boarded. Before you judge, let me ask you what exactly did you expect us to do?

Note: ESP never answered the call. We never found him.

we will find you brother @EliotShorrParks pic.twitter.com/sBcusGCape

— The Liberty Line (@LibertyLinePHL) November 21, 2025

I wrote a very long article about them, my undying love for April the bartender, and everything that happened after the fact. Things spiraled, the post went viral for the right reasons and the wrong ones, and now here we are discussing canned dirties.

Dogfish Head Brewery dropped the Drrrty Thrrrty which carries quite the punch.

19.5% ABV isn’t bad. To put that in perspective, a standard dirty martini carries somewhere around 29-35% ABV. A little low? Absolutely, but when you compare it to other seltzers, it’s significantly higher, which provides hope.

Dogfish Head Brewery: “Drrrty Thrrrty”

Turning thirty never tasted so good … and dirty! We’re closing out our 30th year with a collab with @creemmag … Introducing, “Drrrty Thrrrty”, a ready-to-drink dirty martini accompanied by a playlist of the 30 dirtiest songs and a launch party: https://t.co/pIVfS1Sc5O pic.twitter.com/8aEsdtlRXG

— Dogfish Head Brewery (@dogfishbeer) November 24, 2025

Side Note: The TWO Servings line has to be some red tape they couldn’t get around right? There’s literally no chance anyone is taking a can and looking for a drinking buddy to help finish it. Maybe it’s just me but I’m not sharing.

Opinion: A dirty martini needs to be made with love.

While I have no doubt that Dogfish Head is making these things with love, attention, and care just like all of their beverages, I’m not convinced I can get behind it.

A dirty martini is all about the experience. You cannot just crack one open like it is a convenience store energy drink and expect it to feel right. You need the freshness. You need the moment. You need that little rush that comes with drinking one at a completely irresponsible time of day.

A good dirty martini makes you feel alive, ya know?

It is also the perfect hangover demolition tool. I don’t have a name for it yet. That’s on me. Once you come up with Stateside Stabilizer, you need some time to get back the level of creative juices exhausted already.

Regardless, a dirty martini is zero fluff. Just brine, booze, and instant recalibration. It stops the hands from shaking and puts the soul back in your body.

So when Dogfish Head announced a canned dirty martini at 19.5 percent ABV, part of me was horrified but another part of me (alcoholism) respects the innovation.

I will say this. Thank god the attention is finally shifting back to dirty martinis. To hell with the espresso martini. Those were cool for roughly an hour before everyone learned the hard way that you cannot knock those back like normal drinks without detonating your heart and tearing your stomach into shreds.

America used to be a proper country. Returning to the classics will guide us. The first step is getting back to real martinis. If Dogfish Head’s canned dirties drag the world back in that direction, then I will accept them as a stepping stone.

Hardly a landing spot but a step nonetheless. I will drink a few of your canned dirty martini’s, Dogfish Head, and report back with the results.

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