AJ Brown says he’s close to heaven now that he’s escaped Philadelphia, where he won 72% of his games, a Super Bowl, and was top 10 in every major receiving category

I’m happy for AJ Brown. Really. He got what he wanted by joining the Patriots, and personal happiness is ultimately more important than football. I’m a sick, sick pup, but even I can admit that simple truth.

That does not mean some of the shit he’s saying now that he’s gone will go unnoticed or uncriticized. The man is talking out of his ass, and as someone who constantly preaches accountability, I think AJ Brown would appreciate this constructive feedback.

First, AJ Brown did the sit-down interview with Maria Taylor. Hoe shit. Doing a sit-down interview the day after being traded to “clear the air” is objectively feminine. Sorry, it just is. Go to work. You already missed half the offseason. No one gives a shit about anything you talked about because you did not even say anything. You just moved your mouth and sounds came out. Until you tell us the real reason why you did not want to be here, I do not care what you have to say about the Eagles. Simple.

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Then came the introductory press conference. Now, I understand this is the honeymoon phase for AJ Brown and the Patriots. It was the same way when he first got to Philly. All he ever wanted to do was play with his best bud Jalen Hurts, remember?

Just like all he ever wanted was to play for his childhood team, the New England Patriots. He loved them so much as a kid that he does not even have any real photos of himself in Patriots jerseys. The ones you saw on his IG? AI generated. Classic.

And while you might have drawn the conclusion that all of this struck a nerve with me, I genuinely find it funny more than anything. The only thing that made me pause was AJ Brown’s heaven comment during the press conference. It’s the only reason I’m here writing this right now.

AJ Brown: “I know this ain’t heaven, but it’s close to it.”

"I know this ain't heaven, but it's close to it."

A.J. Brown on being a New England Patriot. pic.twitter.com/6Pjgm4WvEb

— New England Patriots (@Patriots) June 2, 2026

I get it. He’s happy to be where he’s at. From my point of view, and probably every other Eagles fan’s perspective, it just feels dirty.

Like, Philly wasn’t good enough for you? Why? Was it the 72 percent of games you won during your time here? Was it the two Super Bowl appearances and the ring? Was it the personal stats? Was being top-10 in targets, receiving yards and receiving touchdowns not enough? How are you closer to heaven now? Is it because you’re back with the coach who traded you from Tennessee?

It can’t be because this was your favorite team. You do not even have any real pictures of yourself in Patriots jerseys from your childhood. So what is it, AJ? We all want to know.

Now I have to ask myself, am I taking this too personally? Yes, I am. At least I’m self-aware enough to admit it. A large swath of fans in this city defended everything AJ did, even when he was trying to force his way out of Philly. The reading on the sideline, the Twitch streams, the vague posting, all of it. All the articles written trying to defend his honor, only for the guy to do a sit-down interview and say he has wanted to be a Patriot this whole time.

I have nothing but respect for the football player. The man, I’m starting to question a bit.

If he’s close to heaven now, then Philadelphia must be the kingdom of God itself.