Stupid fans only needed 1 week to prove people have regressed millions of years on our evolutionary timeline
Sports fans are a special breed. They have demonstrated this over the years with several different fan-related incidents. Moments like the Malice at the Palace and Steve Bartman robbing the Cubs of a World Series Win come to mind.
However, since fans have been unable to attend sporting events over the past year, they have had to let out their lunacy at home, away from society. As social creatures, humans rely heavily on the actions of others to inform their own. This extended period of isolation has been damaging to the human psyche. For many sports fans, this means back to the Stone Age in terms of mental capacity. Myself included.
Now, with fans back in the stadium just in time for the NBA Playoffs, we’ve seen a surge in Neanderthal-type behavior.
In Philadelphia alone, we had TWO (2!!) fans run across the field at Citizens Bank Park and a fan dump popcorn on Russell Westbrook at WFC. Granted, the former ignited a Phillies rally to snag the win. And the latter is actually the tamest fan-involved incident in these NBA Playoffs, but still. Things are starting to get out of hand.
Just in the last week, we have seen a New York Knicks fan spit on Trae Young and a Boston fan chuck a water bottle at Kyrie Irving. Plus, we witnessed a fan in DC run onto the court and (barely) grab backboard before being perfectly form-tackled to the floor by arena security. Some Utah Jazz fans directed an extra helping of racism at Ja Morant’s parents. They didn’t know how to act before the pandemic anyway, though. I’m not giving those guys out in Utah a pass. It’s crazy how the dumbest fans in the NBA use graphs to try and prove their point.
It really is insane to think we’ve had so many fan issues happen in the past WEEK. With the increase in vaccinations and drop in infection rates, cities and arenas are letting more fans in now more than ever. Now we’ve got buildings chock full of lunatics, soon to be at max capacity. Lord only knows what will happen as the Playoffs heat up.
Now, I am in no way saying the COVID-19 vaccine has anything to do with this increase in degenerate behavior. Instead, I posit that the last year has caused humanity to regress along our evolutionary timeline. Some say fans have forgotten how to act, and that is not entirely incorrect. What gets lost here are the psychological and biological implications of extended forced isolation. Some members of humanity literally do not know how to act in public anymore. I’m no psychologist, but we are clearly witnessing a lack of social awareness unparalleled in recent years.
Just look at the Kyrie situation. That Boston fan was upset over Kyrie stepping on a painted symbol in the middle of the floor that people just stepped on a million times already. It was the way he stepped on it that was the issue. If that doesn’t sound like something a caveman would throw a rock at someone for, I don’t know what does.
Even I have noticed my own DNA reverting to that of my ancient predecessors. When I’m out in public, I feel like I rely on primal instinct to survive far more than my socialized responses. When I patronize local businesses in person or speak with new people, I communicate in grunts and frantic facial expressions because I haven’t a clue how to act like an actual person.
I guarantee I would easily get overstimulated by the crowd at a playoff Sixers game and potentially be a danger to myself and those around me. I’d be like a fish trapped in a tank the owner cruelly taps on. I can hardly blame some of these fans. Poor creatures. (Except for Jazz fans. All my homies hate Jazz fans).
With all of this being said, there’s no place for this behavior at professional sporting events. Even if you’re a literal Cro-Magnon in a Marco Belinelli jersey nine Miller Lites deep. Clean it up, America.
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Mandatory Credit: USA Today