First look at Phillie Phanatic’s new album art
The Phillie Phanatic has dropped the art for an untitled album, and the Phillies social team is asking you, the fans, to help name it. Great, exactly what I need from my sub .500 baseball team.
I get that since the MLB lockout began, social media teams across the league have struggled to produce content. The Phillies are no exception. @Phillies probably had planned to ride the #MV3 wave until pitchers and catchers reported.
Unfortunately, they’ve been forced to make content about a dog shit franchise without ever mentioning the players. Fortunately, they have access to the best mascot in American sports.
This is the first time I’ve seen this franchise ask for fan input about anything, and obviously, it’s ultimately meaningless. Regardless, I love coming up with titles, and most of the replies sucked, much like the Phillies do these days.
Here are a few of my own suggestions for the Phanatic’s newest album title:
He may not walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but he certainly walks through the tunnel of extended mediocrity.
It’s gotta get hot dancing around for three hours a day in the summer months, and I doubt the Phanatic bathes regularly.
Ten years and counting without playoffs. Chance the Rapper did more with a ten day suspension than this Phillies have done in ten years!
Ready to Die
I know this is already the title of one of the most famous rap albums of all time, but the Phillies missing the playoffs for a decade straight has most of the city ready to die.
B.G.N. (Big Green Nutz)
80 Wins & Heartbreak
The Phillies haven’t won more than 82 games in a season since 2011. For context, I was 13 years old and actually loved baseball. That was, of course, until the Phillies spent ten years sapping me of my love for the game.
Untitled Love Songs
With the lockout, I’m sure it’s been hard for the Phanatic not seeing Bryce around. I know they have a special, borderline sexual bond. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Phanatic was moved to song.
Bryce hates it when the Phanatic tries to air their dirty laundry.
Listen to The Wolves of Broad Street
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Mandatory Credit: @Phillies