The Philadelphia Eagles beat the Washington Football Team yesterday then sat back and watched the Green Bay Packers destroy the Minnesota Vikings to help them clinch their fourth playoff appearance over the last five years.

In a season where the Eagles started off 2-5 with a rookie head coach and a 23-year old starting quarterback, reaching the playoffs is an achievement that should be celebrated.

It’s also a reason to pull all of the horrendous old takes and preseason predictions made by national and local media pundits to ensure them that they were all totally wrong. Conway did that earlier today and you can read that in full here.

So naturally, our trusted Philly sports talk radio stations released a few polls this morning to get a feel of how Eagles fans are feeling after yesterday’s events. 97.5 The Fanatic presented Twitter users three options. Either you’re Super Excited, Cautiously Optimistic, or you Wanted Higher Draft Picks.

The poll is a pretty bad one, considering there’s really only one viable option that provides a correct answer. Anything outside of it is just ridiculous.

Here’s the poll for reference:

Super excited GO BIRDS!

The only correct answer. Thank you to the 60% of you who have a brain.

This team had no business in even mentioning the playoffs a month ago. Now? We’re locked and loaded after Week 17 and can rest everyone in Week 18 against the Dallas Cowboys. It’s like we’re playing with house money here.

I felt the same way with Nick Foles entering the playoffs back during the Super Bowl year. There’s no being “cautiously optimistic” or looking ahead to the 2022 NFL Draft.

The playoffs are about outlasting every other team and clicking at the perfect time. If you’re going into the Wild Card thinking anything else but Super Bowl, why even bother?

Cautiously optimistic

30% of you? Loser mentality. Period.

Being cautiously optimistic has never done a person any good, no matter the situation. You can’t play both sides and only be “half-in” on an Eagles playoff berth.

Also while we’re here, if I see another person write “birth” instead of “berth” on my Twitter timeline, you’re instantly getting blocked. My guess, the “birthers” are also the ones who are cautiously optimistic. These people are exactly what’s wrong with society. America is a dying country because of the cautiously optimistic.

Being cautiously optimistic is buying sushi from a convenience store because the coloring looks good. NBC was cautiously optimistic Ed Helms could fill Steve Carrell’s shoes on the office. It’s John F. Kennedy being cautiously optimistic riding with the top down in Dallas and our very own Ryan Conway being cautiously optimistic about his ex-wife not being a whore.

John Lennon was cautiously optimistic about strolling outside his New York City apartment building. MLK was cautiously optimistic about catching a breath of fresh air before dinner at the Lorraine Motel.

Australia was cautiously optimistic they’d beat Emus in a war. Ron Goldman was most likely cautiously optimistic he’d hook up with OJ’s ex wife. The examples are daunting and endless.

Notice a trend in the cautiously optimistic? I sure do. These people die tragic and horrible deaths and have zero place in the world of Philadelphia Eagles fandom.

Wanted higher draft picks

For the 10% of you who want higher draft picks, yeah, no. If you selected that you want higher draft picks then you’re an idiot.

This is the NFL, for christ’s sake. Winning is what it’s all about. So throw caution to the wind. Sprint headlong into battle the same way you want your players to or get the fuck out of the way.

There’s legitimately no point in handwringing over draft picks when you make the playoffs. Especially not when Howie Roseman is your GM. Just be as cocky as possible until shit goes down in flames.

Look, if you picked anything other than “Super excited GO BIRDS!” you’re missing the point of being a fan. So if you or someone you love isn’t 100% juiced for an Eagles playoff run, it’s time to reevaluate.