The Phillies social media team hopped on a bandwagon yesterday, polling players on the latest (and totally inane) internet argument. I’m talking, of course, about answering the question: are there more wheels or doors in the world?

Here are Phillies players taking part in a debate that makes “is water wet?” look like solving cold fusion:

My opinion of this becoming the number one thing trending on the internet aside, I can’t deny its grip on the public. The Phillies couldn’t help themselves either, which I honestly support. You’ve got to get the piggies to the trough somehow.

You’re wrong if you thought this would be a blog where I make little jokes about each player’s answer or maybe crack wise about Bryce Harper’s fondness of ass. I’m not going to give an ounce of energy engaging directly with this colossal time waste.

You could say this is a harsh response to a harmless poll, and you’d be right. However, I’m so hungover I’m sweating booze, and I had a dentist appointment this morning. Sorry that the Phillies didn’t catch me at my best with this one.

I do think it’s interesting that just as Putin and the Russian army stalled in Ukraine, this new mindless trend spread across social media at a blistering rate. I’m not claiming the entire “Wheels vs. Doors debate” is part of a disinformation campaign to distract the West from military failures. However, I am saying that so many Americans are preoccupied with a stupid topic that the FSB is kicking themselves for not coming up with it first.

Also, it’s definitely fucking doors. Morons.

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Mandatory Credit: @Phillies