Lincoln Financial Field is turning heads and stomachs with Aramark’s bizarre “Philly Jawns” in 2022
Any Eagles fan knows it’s pretty hard to mess up a game day menu. Lincoln Financial Field has partnered with Aramark to test that theory and will debut a new “Snack Hack” menu at home games this season.
Aramark is rolling the feature out for 10 NFL teams this year. The concept is simple, taking snack foods and turning them into entrees. The execution, at least in Philly, leaves something to be desired.
Lincoln Financial Field will be offering the unimaginatively named “Philly Jawns” to Eagles fans this season.
What is a Philly Jawn?
Well, besides a horrible name likely created in some marketing room at the Aramark headquarters by a young, lazy, pandering, non-Philadelphian, its pretty easy to explain.
A Philly Jawn is gross. But don’t just take my word for it:
New to the menu at the South Philadelphia stadium this season, available in section 138, is Philly Jawns. Aramark describes Philly Jawns as “Dunkin’ Macchiato Cereal crusted beef brisket and Monterey jack cheese croquettes served with Rita’s Wild Black Cherry Ice BBQ sauce.”
Yes. You read that right.
The world’s most bland coffee mixed dusted over what I can only assume is D Grade beef and cheese that you can dip into melted water ice. I generally don’t like to judge food before I try it, but I feel comfortable calling this bad.
Look, I totally get that you can roll out whatever food you want inside stadiums and even more so at Eagles games. The majority of the crowd is completely intoxicated and just looking for something to eat so they have something in their stomachs to help them not pass out in the stands.
It really doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Judging by the pictures above, it looks like Aramark is attempting to take completely normal food and market it as something special. I just doubt that anyone actually gives a shit.
Eagles fans disrespected by Aramark
Not only that, but Houston in another team selected by Aramark and will feature a Philly cheesesteak at NRG Stadium. How does that make sense? I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Aramark’s cheesesteak is completely gross as well, but we’re stuck with the cereal beef brisket Rita’s water ice thing?
Just do yourself a favor and stick to eating at the tailgates surrounding Lincoln Financial Field before an Eagles game. There’s always someone out there grilling up some food. Just blend in and take a plate, bring a few beers over, or track down Drew Smith in F2 parking lot. I doubt he actually eats anything but someone has to be making food out there for an eight hour tailgate, right?
If you can’t find Drew, maybe it’s just better to bring your own cow. Slaughter it in the parking lot to ensure your beef is as fresh as possible. It can double as an offering to the football gods if you do the butchering in front of the “Philly Philly” statue.
Make sure you bring enough coolers to save the organ meat. That’s good eating!
Mandatory Credit: Aramark