The US must arrest Alex Ovechkin and trade him to Russia for Paul Whelan after 2 cheap empty-net goals

Ryan Conway
December 8, 2022
Flyers
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Russian hockey player and known Putin lapdog Alex Ovechkin scored two empty-net goals against the Flyers last night. Travis Konecny did not take this act of stat-padding lightly, slashing him after he netted the second.

Ovechkin gets his second empty net goal of the night and Konecny didn’t like it pic.twitter.com/lBJcBBAWYk
— Nasty Knuckles (@NastyKnuckles) December 8, 2022

While it was an apt response in the hockey world, my geopolitical instincts tell me there is a massive opportunity for the US and the Biden Administration:

We must arrest Ovechkin and trade him to the Russians for wrongfully imprisoned Marine Paul Whelan.

You’re probably saying, “But Ryan! Stat-padding isn’t a crime! How can we lock him up for that?”

Well, if Russia can imprison Americans for laws on their books they aren’t guilty of, then we can lock up a Russian for a crime that isn’t on the books that they are fully guilty of.

Hell, Putin and the Russians might respect a brazen, half-baked political move like that. There’s a good chance it not only frees an innocent Marine, but improves Russo-American relations for decades to come.

Also, it would absolutely work. Look how much Putin loves this guy!