Wildwood, New Jersey officials have officially approve two ordinances in regards to public drinking that will go into effect in 20 days down the shore. 

According to Franki Rudnesky from the Philly Voice, the Wildwood Board of Commissioners have officially BANNED alcohol on the beach and boardwalk, with hopes of addressing the underage drinking “problem” this summer. 

Yes. There needs to be MORE RULES on alcohol consumption because apparently, the law in the place that prohibits anyone under the age of 21 to consume alcohol is just too hard to enforce.

Now everyone suffers because Generation Z thinks they can do whatever they want and be completely drunk in public underage. 

Cool. 

I honestly can’t get over the fact that there is LITERALLY a law in place that restricts alcohol consumption already, so why do you need more restrictions on top of the law that should be enforced already?

That makes zero sense to me.

It’s honestly hilarious that this happened in Wildwood, New Jersey just a few months after their own mayor, Peter J. Byron pleaded guilty to two counts of willfully aiding and assisting in the preparation and presentation of fraudulent tax returns to the IRS for calendar years 2017 and 2018.

I was perfectly fine turning a blind eye to a few cases of tax evasion while enjoying a few cold ones on the beach before stumbling down the boardwalk with an ice cold nooner to grab a slice of pizza but if you take that away from me, a person of age that has an American right to consume alcohol then it will be hard to ignore. 

Still, I really don’t see a reason for concern here. In the heart of American prohibition, the Jersey Shore was the epicenter for bootlegging alcohol up and down the shorelines. I know this because I watched Boardwalk Empire. 

The real victims of the new restrictions are the dads who are forced to walk up and down the boards with their annoying little kids to waste an insane amount of money on rigged arcade and carnival games without the option to drink themselves into oblivion but even that isn’t an issue once they break out a Yeti tumbler to mask their borderline alcoholic drinking tendencies. 

Those of you who are 21+ probably have an easy workaround in place already.

For those of you under 21, consider this a simple obstacle in your never-ending goal to get as fucked up as possible down the shore this summer. 

Back in the day, I would go to family events and dump out Sprite cans and fill them will alcohol. The only one who sniffed that scheme out on sight was my Uncle Mark but only because he’s smarter than the rest. Plus, he just wanted me to know that he knew what was happening, then let me go on my merry way stumbling through meaningless conversations with my grandmother. 

Point being, there’s always a way around these types of pointless ordinances put in place by “city officials” who do things a million times worse than an 18 year old have a few beers on the beach. 

Good luck out there.

This is America and it’s our god given right to be able to consume alcohol.

Remember, Memorial Day was put in place to honor the brave young men and women who died for this country to protect and enforce the rights that we enjoy every single day.

For those of you who happen to click on TLL articles today, there’s really not much to write about so if we have written something upsetting, then please, rest easy knowing that we don’t care. 

Everyone have a safe and happy Memorial Day Weekend. These laws in Wildwood won’t go into effect for another 20 days so go crazy (in moderation) this weekend.

Cheers. 

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