Yes. This is one of the slowest weeks in all of sports and I am now writing about a random SEPTA posted that I stumbled across on the “For You” page on Twitter.

I am perfectly fine admitting that I’m being over dramatic over a train/subway poster right now but hopefully you can understand that again, we are in the midst of one of the slowest weeks of the year.

Everyone hates the Sixers, the Phillies are on All-Star break, the Flyers are doing the whole rebuild thing and we’re still about a month away from anything really happening with the Eagles.

So yeah, I’m writing about dumb marketing and advertising campaigns from SEPTA.

You’re the one who clicked the article. You knew what you were getting yourself into. Not my problem.

SEPTA 420 SMOKING ADVERTISEMENT

Yeah. That’s a miss. Zero self-awareness.

Maybe if the higher-up employees at SEPTA actually rode the rails, they would understand why? 

I mean seriously, if the worst thing that happens on SEPTA is someone smoking weed, then you just had the best subway ride of your life and it should be celebrated and remembered, because it’s likely that will never happen again.

“This isn’t route 420”

“Call us if someone is smoking”

Uh yeah no shit SEPTA. Obviously it’s not Route 420.

It’s also not “Route Get Robbed on the Subway” or “Route I’m Surrounded by Homeless People” or “Route Everyone is Nodding Out” but that doesn’t prevent those things from happening on a daily basis while riding the rails now does it?

Also, what exactly happens if I attempt to call SEPTA because someone is smoking?

My guess, absolutely nothing but really, that’s beyond the point because literally no one is calling SEPTA because someone was smoking a joint. It’s insulting to even ask someone to report a smoking issue given the other things that people have to deal with on a regular basis while riding SEPTA.

Here’s an idea, SEPTA. Spend less money on corny advertisements and marketing campaigns and actually clean up the subway and rail lines so people have a more enjoyable experience using public transportation.

I lived in the city (South Philly, Northern Liberties) for over a decade and rarely had a good experience on a subway train. Now, I’m out in the suburbs and while the Regional Rail services and while the new Wawa Station is beautiful, taking it down to the city and then getting on the Market East line to get over to Fishtown is an absolute nightmare.

Side Note: I know it’s called Jefferson Station now but there’s no shot I’m buying into a name change when it’s still the same shitty subway station. 

You want to crack jokes about 420 and smoking weed on the subway trains?

Well let me tell you who has never ridden on the Market East Line. The person who created that stupid advertisement. Again, zero self-awareness. Either that, or they are too scared to call out the real problems when riding the lines.

SEPTA needs a Liberty Line Station

This post isn’t all negative, however. I should mention that I really do appreciate the public transit system. I just wish SETPA did a better job maintaining it. Hell, I wish the United States in general accepted travel by trains and other public transportation options more openly.

Over in Europe, you’re hopping on trains left and right and going all over the place. Here in America? Not so much, but that’s an article for another day. 

Anyways, SEPTA, don’t take this to heart, just be better with your messaging. With any problem, I come to you with a simple solution.

Partner with The Liberty Line and let’s create, you guessed it, the Liberty Line SEPTA station.

You may think I’m joking but over a decade ago when I just graduated college,

I worked at Red Tettemer in center city as an (unpaid) advertising intern and helped create the “I SEPTA PHILLY” ad campaign that I’m pretty sure you still use today.

I left Red Tettemer because, well, advertising agencies are filled with a bunch of egotistical, uncreative maniacs that have no talent and pay you like dog shit if you’re lucky enough to survive a six month internship getting paid absolutely NOTHING but regardless, it’s disappointing to see that these are the types of corny campaigns you have succumbed to.

How about we work together and open up a Liberty Line Station and have The Liberty Line as the presenting partner? That seems like a better option than a 420 advertisement while everyone is actually doing meth and Fetenayl and acting like lunatics on the rails, right?

I will even get someone at The Liberty Line to maintain our station and keep it safe, clean, and drug free.

Lord knows everyone else “writing” for this website has a bunch of free time. I don’t see how they could be doing anything else with their time and they definitely aren’t helping me (outside of Cass & TLY) keep this website traffic above 750K visitors a month. Might as well put them to work, right?

This type of shit wouldn’t happen at Liberty Line Station though. You have my word.

Actually, on second thought, it might, since again The Liberty Line crew might be the most unreliable bunch of idiots in the city, but regardless, we’ll figure all that out later.

I’ll just need a promise there will be no corny 420 advertisements at Liberty Line Station and a nice paycheck to promote it on the website. Rest assured, we will actually have some self-awareness with our marketing and advertising campaigns.

It’s time to stop wasting money on useless, dumb ads and put it towards good use to provide safe travel and clean subway and train cars so they don’t smell like a toilet or resemble a third world country like Market East Station in Philly.

Constructive criticism baby. Let’s talk business.