Thieves steal $73k worth of crab legs from truck in Philadelphia

Ryan Conway
October 4, 2023
Philly
0 Comments

Philadelphia authorities were left stunned by a brazen theft of $73k worth of crab legs from a tractor-trailer. The thieves took over five thousand pounds of the product, making off like bandits in the process with no trace to speak of.

Fox 29 reported 184 cases of crab legs were stolen while the driver slept in the front seat:

$73,000 theft of king crab legs looted overnight in Philadelphia. @PhillyPolice interrupted lots of people stealing 184 big TEKPA cases of crab legs. Cars sped off. Police woke truck driver who slept through his trailer being burglarized after its lock & metal seal were broke. pic.twitter.com/TbJ4kJvUb7
— Steve Keeley (@KeeleyFox29) October 4, 2023

Finally, someone is stealing something cool in this city. Looting liquor stores and pilfering Apple products is quite literally the lamest way to break the law, and it’s pretty much all we’ve been seeing these days in terms of theft.

What we’ve got here is a quality heist. This is like something Christopher Moltisanti and his meth-smoking buddy would do to prove to the family they’re ready to be made guys. The only difference is that this one seemed to go off without a hitch.

Jameis Winston wishes he could pull off a haul like that. Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

At any rate, whoever knocked over that truck has a shitload of crab legs to either eat, sell, or both. If they play their cards right, they can make a killing as crab people.

Fortunately for them, these are high-quality items, not Delaware River crabs soaked in sewage. These babies are recession-proof. Don’t believe me? It’s been done before:

Live and die by the crab, baby. People gotta eat!

Gear up in the TLL Shop