Thieves steal 15 cases of steaks from Jetro lot in Philadelphia’s second food-related theft this year

Another day another absurd crime story in the City of Brotherly Love. Thieves descended upon the Jetro lot in the dead of night to “liberate” 15 cases of high-quality steaks from the back of a tractor-trailer.

The Beef Bandits took the cases of steaks from the trailer while the driver slept:

2/2 Happened next to Lincoln Financial Field in Jetro parking lot 12:25am. Five guys with suv, 2 sitting inside & one of other 3 loading it said “We are only taking a little.” & motioned toward his hip as if he had gun. They dropped a box and took off with 15 cases of steaks.

— Steve Keeley (@KeeleyFox29) November 15, 2023

The Jetro Lot is a sacred place, and sullying it by stealing delicious meats is defiling a spot Philadelphians hold near and dear to our hearts. Sure, as a hub of human degeneracy on gameday, some activities in the lot are extralegal at best, but outright theft is something we never like to see.

This isn’t even the first food-related theft in the last few months. Back in October, a band of thieves took $73,000 worth of crab legs from the back of a tractor-trailer.

Oddly enough, the details from the two stories are eerily similar. Whenever the report starts with a driver asleep in the cab, I’m already suspicious. Now that it’s happened twice? I’m starting to think the two are related, and this whole thing is part of a greater criminal enterprise.

What that organization does or wants is anyone’s guess, but two incidents like this happening a month apart is just a little too convenient for my liking.

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