secret tunnels in New York synagogue

Secret tunnel under NYC synagogue leads to 9 arrests and brawl with police

A group of Hasidic Jewish worshippers was arrested at Chabad Lubavitch Headquarters in New York City during a dispute over an… illegal secret tunnel? Yes. A secret tunnel was dug beneath the basement synagogue in the building, and very few people really seem to know why.

NYPD came to the scene and made arrests in one of the most bizarre scenes you’ll see:

And here’s a look inside a portion of the secret tunnels under the synagogue:

I know it’s early doors, but this is by far the craziest story of 2024. A secret tunnel network in New York is one thing, but when it’s dug by a group of disgruntled Hasidic Jews, I immediately need to know everything.

According to a Chabad spokesperson, the tunnels were dug around 6 months ago in an effort to expand the iconic basement synagogue. Apparently, some rogue students felt the current setup was too cramped and decided to take matters into their own hands when expansion discussions ground to a halt.

From a logical perspective, digging a narrow tunnel isn’t really a great way to expand a basement in NYC. You can tell by looking in there that it wasn’t exactly the Four Seasons.

How long did they get away with this for before anyone had any idea? I have to say, I don’t know what was going on down there, but I do respect the gumption to go out and get something done.

NYPD and the Department of Buildings are going to do a forensic investigation of the secret tunnels, which I think is absolutely necessary. Like, what the hell was going on down there?? The people simply have to know.

While this was a shock to most of the world, some people were apparently onto the tunnel systems before official news broke.

I can’t even begin to imagine how absurd this must have been for this guy. Telling your friends, “Guys, I think there are Jews living under my apartment floor,” is already risky play to start. Then, even if they aren’t immediately disgusted by the phrasing, they’ll still probably think you’re nuts.

But he stood strong and doubled down on his (eventually correct) assertion. Richard Strocher, you have officially been vindicated. Couldn’t have happened to a better guy.

Of course, there are a few “alternative theories” as to the purpose of the secret tunnels and how they came to be.

A leading theory here is that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles underwent the famously rigorous conversion process to become Jewish. Either that, or their mother was simply a Jewish turtle, and they reconnected with their heritage after being separated at birth. Either way, it’s a beautiful story.

If you’re skeptical, don’t think I didn’t come will well-researched evidence. Why else would they tweet out Happy Hanukkah in 2019 if they weren’t Jewish? Huh? Exactly.

Sadly, there are far less funny theories out there as to what this tunnel was for, and some are saying this might have something to do with child trafficking. I don’t know if they’re still riding the Epstein wave or if they’re actually true, but it’s nuts to live in a world where that’s even a possibility.

I’m not going to comment on that either way, I’m just saying that underground secret tunnels are highly suspicious, so it’s worth at least exploring all the possibilities. I’ll be following this story every step of the way, and you should too.

Gear up in the TLL Shop

Very real and legitimate journalist. I don't see a loss on the schedule.

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