WATCH: Great White Shark Attack on a fishing boat off Sunshine Coast in Australia

Just when you thought we made it through the summer without me ranting about what’s happening in the depths of Earth’s oceans, here’s a new report on a Great White shark attack on a fishing boat off Sunshine Coast in Australia.

Great White shark attack on a fishing boat off Sunshine Coast in Australia

Okay so every time I write about sharks on this website, I end up spiraling out of control and referencing an old post I wrote about scientists in Florida using cocaine to “test” the side effects it has on sharks.

From there, I throw on a tin foil hat and dive straight into the rabbit hole in regards to those “scientists” getting a brick of beautiful, tasty, white “Justin Bieber” to kick back, and rail lines with the test-sharks while watching Discovery Channel’s Shark Week but I will avoid all of that for now…for the most part.

That’s a true story…kind of. University of Florida released a report saying that sharks off the coast of Florida were FEASTING on pounds of cocaine that were dumped into the ocean by failed drug smugglers trying to reach the United States coastline. Check it out here.

Would getting the Aussie’s hopped up on cocaine help prevent Great White Shark attacks? Who’s to say it would trigger that type of reaction or help focus the great white shark on other objects in the sea. My guess, they would have better things to do (find more cocaine) than worry about the boaters, UNLESS those boaters had a few kilos on board? I’m not a narc so let’s go with the former.

Since we’re on the topic, don’t think for a second I forgot about those recreational boaters who made a mistake of their lifetime by foolishly turning in 65 pounds of cocaine either.

I wake up every morning and look at myself in the mirror while reciting a quick reminder that I will personally never be that stupid.

Those idiots ruined my summer and any time I see a large body of water, I think about the generational mistake they made being boy scouts instead of turning themselves into the 2024 version of Scarface.

Recreational boaters find 65 pounds of Eagle Cocaine off the coast of Florida, foolishly hand it over to authorities >>

Luckily this video in particular appears to be in Australia. You know…that gun-free, pro-COVID island filled with the Earth’s most disgusting insects and animals that I have ever seen in my life.

Mix in shark-infested waters and it’s a complete disaster down under, right? The only thing that Australia has done correctly was give the United States of America Ben Simmons and even that had a miserable ending.

Shoutout to the boaters in the video above. Unlike our foolish recreational boaters off the coast of Florida, these dudes held their ground while being the main subject in a Great White Shark attack – how many people can say that? Not to mention, they even dipped a camera into the water after that shark tried to take a chunk out of their boat. That sounds like “cocaine energy” to me but who I am to judge?

Personally, I have zero clue how I would handle that situation. My first instinct would be to fire up the engines and get the fuck out of there but maybe that’s a bad exit strategy given the fact that Jaws and his friends are circling the boat in the depths below? Not sure.

Great White Shark Attack? What I am sure about is the following…

• The majority of college studies involving animals and drugs is just an excuse to get high.
• Shark Week is the most overrated week in American television.
• Turning in 65+ kilos of cocaine to authorities gets you nothing but brownie points.
• Australia is a scary place on and off land.
• Years later, I still treat Ben Simmons like a bad breakup.

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