Recreational boaters find 65 pounds of Eagle Cocaine off the coast of Florida, foolishly hand it over to authorities
According to CBS, recreational boaters found 65 POUNDS of Eagle Cocaine off the coast of Florida and then foolishly turned it into local authorities.
Eagle Cocaine Found Off The Coast of Florida
“In a separate social media post, the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office said that “mariners in a private vessel found a package containing approximately 21 individually wrapped kilograms of suspected cocaine.” Officials said the drugs, which were found in the water about 7 miles off Islamorada, Florida, on Saturday, were handed over to U.S. Border Patrol agents. A photo released by the sheriff’s office showed a package of the suspected cocaine emblazoned with an image of a bald eagle.” [CBS]
You have to be kidding me…
There’s nothing that grinds my gears more than stories like these. I guess we can all be happy that the Cocaine Sharks didn’t find this glorious run of Eagle-Coke first.
Last year, right around the same time actually, scientists from the University of Florida released a report saying that sharks off the coast of Florida were FEASTING on pounds of cocaine that were dumped into the ocean by failed drug smugglers trying to reach the United States coastline.
In my post about it, I was hoping that the Cocaine Sharks was just another scam by a group of scientists who want to feed sharks cocaine (aka get a bunch of free coke and give “some” to the sharks) but regardless, I can’t know that hustle.
Let’s just hope that the 65 pounds was more like 100 pounds and these boaters did the right thing, ya know?
Would you turn over all 65 pounds of Eagle-Cocaine?
That study was based on UF looking into “tales from fisherman about drug-addicted sharks off the Florida Keys” so make of it as you will.
Crazy for sure, but honestly, pretty genius. If I had the opportunity to test the side effects of mushrooms on the raccoon that lives in the dumpster behind my local Wendy’s, consider me a scientist.
How actual scientific institutions get that type of study approved is insane but if you peel back the curtain and realize that it’s actually happening under the guerrilla marketing guise of Discovery’s “Shark Week” then it all started to make perfect sense.
That’s probably what we’re dealing with again this time around with the Eagle-Coke.
I mean look at the success of Cocaine Bear. The movie was a viral sensation.
These scientists just want to rail lines and laugh at everyone while they watch episodes of Shark Week.
Please don’t let me confuse you. That sounds like what I did every year at college while watching Shark Week so I’m not criticizing whatsoever. The only difference is that I was buying the cocaine instead of getting it for free to use for “science” while the Discovery Channel lined my pockets.
Honestly, a lot of people think about the “American Dream” and immediately turn to going to school, getting married, starting a family, and buying their dream home with a white picket fence where they’ll live happily ever after.
Obviously that dream is dead but you get the point. Personally, my dream is to find an unmarked bag of millions of dollars in cash or even better, a bunch of Eagle-labeled cocaine that’s worth $1 million in cash.
Point being – shame on these “recreational boaters” who went running to authorities after finding the Eagle Coke. That’s the most anti-American thing you could do outside of voting for Joe Biden in the presidential election.
KIDDING! (Not Really)
How anyone could find 65 pounds of cocaine just weeks before July 4th – America’s Birthday – and decide to just hand it over is absolutely insane.
Anyways, the ocean is a wild. You are already dealing with a bunch of crazy sea creatures and just the thought of sharks now getting zooted off pounds of cocaine certainly doesn’t help ease any anxiety when hitting the beach this summer.
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and what they do with it to sell it and not get killed?
That’s one way to tell everyone that you, the author are a coke junkie 🤦🏾♀️🤣
I wouldn’t of handed that coke over to authorities either. I’m no coke head but I like money and whores
and 65 kilos can you get you Alot of both of those
That’s livin’ the dream, man! Sadly, 65 pounds is more like 29.5 kilos so only half the money and whores you were hoping for
What’s so bad about handing it over. It was the right thing to do.
Drew Smith is a coke-head clown. He is an “Orange Hitler” supporter, so his story is likely fictional. And yes, I despise the Dumpster Fire. So when this clown mentions politics in an article about drugs and nature I feel obligated to chime in. Happy Friday!
Are you going to cry?
I was enjoying what seemed to be a light-hearted commentary about what many college students would dream to find. Maybe they need help paying tuition and want some free coke on the side (that hasn’t been mixed with fentanyl and other random garbage that would kill you), which would help them study, kind of, and help pay tuition. Maybe they have a loved one with lots of medical bills or an ailment that actual cocaine would help (because it, like many other substances used to be medicine, but people always screw that up for those that need it). Regardless, I was not expecting any veiled political agenda that craps on Democrats trying to retain this country’s democracy that people like him are trying to destroy and turn into a fascist, hate mongering dictatorship in the twisted name of ” ‘Merica and Patriotism”. I should have known by his immature and amateur writing style, as well as his entitled bi-line that a fun article about boaters finding ocean drugs, including sharks, would not be so innocent. Not to mention, it sounds like the author is possibly still in college and also still on some good nose candy because I can’t believe any actual paid and published journalist that supposedly attended and then graduated college would use the crude, bastardized slang “Anyways” in an article. Perhaps he didn’t actually graduate college or get to those actual journalism courses because of his love for that sweet booger sugar. As a college professor in English and Pre-Journalism, I would have failed the shit out of you! Maybe the author is still in college and would greatly benefit from some English 101 with laws of punctuation, grammar and actual words, but I would recommend he save the money and just hit up his local middle school for that skill-level. It screams typical, entitled millennial or gen-z shit-starter (“Are you going to cry?” where is my sarcastic sad face emoji) trying to get clicks and replies on a BS article for karma credit, regurgitating the fascist beliefs of his parents. Definitely not a real journalist but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, so it goes… we’re all students of life after all. PS. The person who replied to a completely reasonable comment that “Unfortunately, tools like you are the “New” America” has perfectly summed up the unabashed ignorance and vulgar ‘Idiocracy’ of this fascist regime trying to gain all power in the name of “American Patriotism!” So thanks to Mike Judge for predicting exactly what all of us Lib-tards knew was coming. Unless he’s the one who gave these people the idea that having a former reality show host, known adulterer, embarrassingly public misogynist, overall POS shyster (starting businesses just to purposefully bankrupt them for tax credits and losing jobs for thousands of the Americans he loves so dearly) amongst other big, scary descriptive words they wouldn’t understand, as leader of a once great country. Soon they’ll be watering their plants with Gatorade, because… electrolytes.. And just for all of you “patriots,” the term ‘American’ applies to all that reside in the North and South American continents. This country is the United States of America, but US is acceptable for those that are confused by the concept. The US was created as a melting pot of people from all over the world, each having their own ideals and political and religious beliefs, to live in freedom with a democratic system where the people vote for their leaders and laws that directly affect it’s citizens’ lives and bodies. So if you don’t like it, “tool”, you are welcome to go back to wherever your family came from, you mf’ing colonizer.
Perfect example of just how backwards everything has become. Turning found drugs over to the authorities is what is supposed to be done. You don’t know who is looking for them and cartels kill for less. Also to actually not be afraid to admit that you wouldn’t have and that you are a user of drugs on a public platform speaks volumes about our societies acceptance of taking whats not yours and breaking the law in front of everyone…we have no integrity or morals as a society any more. It is the new America…
Unfortunately, tools like you are the “New” America
👍🏻
This is hands down the best article I have read on any news forum in quite some time 👏🏻
I wouldn’t even know how or where to sell a gram never mind 65lbs.
Well Drew, sorry but I am turning the whole thing over to the police as well. I am not trying to have the owners looking for me to retrieve their goods! I don’t like jail either, so its a no-brainer for me!!