OKC Thunder lame

Oklahoma City Thunder championship celebration was a No-Booze Snooze Fest after Game 7 win

The Oklahoma City Thunder became NBA Champions on Sunday night after defeating the Indiana Pacers in what amounted to be a pretty brutal watch of a Game 7. Even more brutal, however, was how incredibly lame the scenes were in OKC’s locker room after their historic achievement.

The Thunder left an obscene amount of alcohol untouched, which I take as a personal insult:

Look at all those happy little beers. They’re all lined up, ready for their moment to quench the thirst of elite athletes that have reached the mountaintop.

How wrong they were…

Instead, the Thunder decided to spit in the faces of these innocent souls and pretty much drink none of them. I hope the NBA acted quickly to find these beers a loving home. My door is open to any and all refbrewgees from this heinous event.

Then again, OKC has maybe the least aura and swagger of any championship team in recent memory. Their brand of basketball is unappealing to me, and I will go to my grave believing the Pacers would be NBA Champions if Tyrese Haliburton’s achilles didn’t explode in the first few minutes.

Maybe it was their guilty conscience that prevented them from properly imbibing and enjoying their championship win. They know exactly why they’re in this spot. The fates spared them from the wrath of the Haliban.

But, at the same time, maybe it’s because they’re all complete losers at heart. Chet Holmgren can’t even pronounce the word Michelob.

And you expect me to call him a champion? Embarrassing.

Gear up in the TLL Shop

Very real and legitimate journalist. I don't see a loss on the schedule.

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