Eagles fan cuts ties with girl after team drops two-straight games, could save the season

Some people meditate. Some people journal. Some people go on silent retreats to find inner peace. A Philadelphia Eagles fan named Derrick took a different route.

After watching what has happened to his beloved Birds over the past two weeks, Derrick experienced a moment of clarity. A personal revelation. A spiritual awakening. He realized that his girlfriend is directly connected to the Eagles’ collapse.

The Birds were trending upward. Derrick meets this girl, and suddenly the Cowboys game becomes a historic meltdown and the Bears turn into the ‘85 version out of nowhere. Two weeks later, we are now sitting at rock bottom. There was only one logical solution.

The girl has to go. Period.

Derrick cuts ties with girl after Eagles drop two straight games

Let me say this as clearly as possible. No, Derrick, you are not crazy.

Brother, you are finally awake.

Honestly, I respect the move of breaking things off on Snapchat. Quick. Clean. Efficient. A surgical separation. There is no time to waste when the Eagles’ season hangs in the balance. We have to lock in, close out the regular season strong, and give this team a real shot at going back-to-back.

While the rest of Philadelphia has spent the past month screaming at Kevin Patullo, demanding Nick Sirianni hand over the play sheet like it’s evidence in a RICO case, and emotionally unraveling every time Saquon Barkley runs into the back of an offensive lineman, Derrick saw the real issue for what it was.

The curse sitting next to him on the couch, sharing his oxygen.

Unfortunately, this is what women do to great men. It is not intentional. It is not malicious. It is simply the natural order. You fall in love, you get comfortable, you sit on the couch instead of standing six inches from the TV blacked out and raging with clenched fists with the boys. Next thing you know, your football team collapses like a wet paper bag the second life feels stable.

It is not your fault. It is not her fault. It is simply the cycle.

Honestly, credit to Derrick for getting out while there was still a season left to save. If this girl has a heart, and if she actually likes him, she will understand. She will step aside. She will give him space. She will wait until after the Super Bowl, when the emotional dust settles and we’ve all processed whatever fresh trauma is coming (or avoided) in February.

Then they can reconnect just in time for Valentine’s Day. Dinner. Flowers. Maybe an Eagles parade. That is the dream, right?

Until then, Derrick is locked in. Single. Focused. Emotionally available to exactly one thing. Saving the Philadelphia Eagles.

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