The unexpected fix to the Philadelphia Eagles offense may have just been announced for Monday Night Football

Before I really begin, let’s get one thing straight. I do not care about ESPN’s cute little Monsters Inc. broadcast. I am not flipping over to watch Mike Wazowski break down Cover 3. I am not watching Sulley celebrate a touchdown like he is doing a promo for Disney On Ice.

Like every uptight, stressed out, borderline feral Eagles fan in the Delaware Valley, I will be watching the main broadcast on Monday night.

The more I think about it, the Monsters theme kind of fits. Because at this point, the entire fanbase has turned into actual monsters. And not the fun Pixar kind. I am talking the unhinged, pacing around the living room, screaming at the television like it owes us money kind.

Eagles vs. Chargers will feature a Monsters Inc broadcast on ESPN 2

A Monsters inc. Monday Night pic.twitter.com/Vc9mfsn6oB

— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) December 4, 2025

We literally had a group of idiots egg Kevin Patullo’s house. That is where we are now.

This offense has broken everyone. You, me, the guy at Wawa who thinks he invented the I-formation, the Uber driver who swears he could design a better red zone script, all of us. Every single conversation for the last two months has turned into a film-room breakdown and a therapy session rolled into one. And we still have no idea what the solution is.

Some people want to line up under center and bully their way into competence. Some want Hurts to drop back 40 times a game. Some want motion on every snap because they saw Kyle Shanahan do it once in a highlight package. Nobody has a real answer. This offense has turned normal people into absolute psychopaths.

Kevin Patullo shrugs off egg incident, loves Philly, and I hate how much I like him >>

This Offense Has Turned Normal People into Psychopaths

I am not defending Patullo. Or Sirianni. Or anyone on that side of the ball. They have earned every ounce of criticism for taking a roster full of Super Bowl champions and turning it into something that looks like the 2020 Jets. They embarrassed us in Kelly Green. Then they embarrassed us in all black. They have managed to disrespect every uniform combination we own.

But Monday night cannot be another disaster. It just cannot. Mike and Sulley will be watching. The entire football world will be watching. I need the Eagles to show up like adults and not like the broken cartoon characters they have looked like for the last two weeks.

What is the general message behind Monsters Inc?

Here is where the Monsters Inc. analogy actually works. The whole message of the movie is that joy is more powerful than fear. Sulley went from clock-in, clock-out scare machine to blowing up Waternoose’s entire operation once he realized the system was broken and there was a better way forward. He chose connection over chaos.

That is the Eagles right now. The system is broken. Everyone is terrified. The whole place is running on fear instead of belief. And the only way out is to tighten up, stop making the same mind-numbing mistakes, and actually trust the talent that made this roster elite in the first place.

I am not expecting some brand-new, galaxy-brain offensive scheme to magically appear. I am expecting 30 points. Clean operation. Fewer penalties. Fewer self-inflicted wounds. A locker room that remembers that it is supposed to be better than this.

So what’s my point here?

The Eagles should beat the Chargers. Even with the offense looking like a science experiment gone wrong, they should score. I do not care how it looks. I do not care if it is ugly, gritty, or stitched together with duct tape. Just win. Just get into the twenties or thirties. Just get the season moving in the right direction again.

We are all monsters right now. But a win in LA can calm the entire ecosystem. Now it is on the Eagles to remind us why we ever believed in the first place.

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